Lips of an Angel II: Love Ever After?
by Raider16
Summary: Sequel to Lips of an Angel,you'll have to read that one to understand this. Now that Alex is coming back Olivia has to choose. Who will it be? Casey and the Baby? Or Alex Cabot?
1. Morning Glow

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, some Olivia/Alex (eventually)

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

**Sequel to ****Lips of an Angel.** You have to read that story to really understand this one..

Notes: Takes place about five years or so after Alex went into WPP. Elliot got a promoting and is now Captain of SVU since Cragen retired. (Don't worry he still helps out the squad) Olivia got a promoting as well and is now Detective Sergeant (But her job really hasn't changed, if that makes sense). Fin and Munch both have the same job only because they're really laid back and don't care (don't hate me for that if you're a Fin or Munch fan) Everything else should be explained in the up coming chapters but if you're at all confused feel free to e-mail me or whatever and I'll try to explain everything for you.

Summary: Now that Alex is coming back Olivia has to choose. Who will it be? Casey and the Baby? Or Alex Cabot?

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An alarm clock sounded and the half asleep arm of Olivia Benson reached out to the nightstand to turn it off. Rolling over she curled back up with her wife. Her hand moved from its place on the hip of the woman in her arms under the cotton shirt to rest on the warm body's stomach, slowly drawing small caresses over the skin there. "Hmm, good morning." Casey moaned and moved deeper into Olivia's arms. Liv chuckled and kissed the back of the blonde's neck. Casey rolled over to face Olivia who wrapped her arms tighter around her lover. The brunette's hand softly moved up and down her lover's back in light caresses, while Casey placed gentle kisses down Liv's neck. 

"Hmm, someone woke up in a good mood." Olivia chuckled.

"Uh huh, I get to stay home and sleep in while you go chase down bad guys." Casey teased as she moved her kisses up to Olivia's ear. "You're enjoying this way too much," Olivia stated with humor.

Casey grinned at her wife and pushed Olivia to her back then straddled her. "Oh you know you like it. I work from home now because of the baby which means that you come home to a clean home and a hot meal. Stop complaining."

Olivia evilly grinned and rolled them over so she was trapping Casey under her. "Who said I was complaining?" She leaned down and took the blonde's lips in a deep kiss. Casey wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and pulled her closer, she moaned at the feeling of Olivia on top of her and the sensations that were resulting from it. The alarm sounded again interrupting their kissing. "I gotta get up and go." Olivia said sadly as she pulled back from her wife.

"Take the day off, please." Casey begged. "We could have a little morning love making. I know how you love sex in the morning." The blonde offered running her hand down Olivia's chest and kissing her neck.

Olivia moaned at the thought and sensations. "I'd love to baby, you know that. But Eliot said no more days of until this little guy is born." She placed a hand on Casey's belly and leaned down to pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Plus, I have a meeting at One P.P. Sometimes there's downfalls to being a Sergeant."

"But you know you love it." Casey stated while moving her hand up the back of Olivia's tank top. "And what makes you so sure that the baby will be a boy huh?"

"Hmm, I'm only hoping but I have a good feeling it is." Casey narrowed her eyes at Olivia, then stated, "Yeah well I think it's a girl." Olivia laughed, "Think what you want babe but we'll know soon enough." She kissed Casey one last time then rose from the bed. "I'm gonna jump in the shower. You need anything before I do?"

"You." Casey stated while rolling over to her side and resting her head on her hand. Olivia looked over her shoulder at the woman in the bed, a sexy grin played on her lips. "Later, I promise. Where's my uniform?"

"Outside on the couch, I'll get it for you." Casey said as she moved to get out of the bed. Olivia quickly moved to the bed and gentle pushed her down, "No. Dr. Betteson ordered you to bed rest, so the bed is where you're staying. That or the couch, take your pick." She covered Casey up will the quilt and brushed a few strands of blonde hair out of her lover's face. "You sleep you need your rest. The doctor said too much stress isn't good for the baby, especially after the small scare we had. Take it easy ok, I know you hate it but I couldn't handle loosing you or the baby ok." Casey nodded and curdled in to the blankets and gave Olivia a soft smile. Liv smiled back before leaning down to kiss her wife's forehead.

The blonde laid in bed and watched her wife get ready for work, as Olivia headed to the shower Casey spoke up, "You want some company?" Olivia looked up and chuckled, "You know I do but you're not leaving that bed got it." Casey growled in defeat then rolled over to her back and tried to go back to sleep. "Fine. Wake me up before you leave ok." Olivia nodded and continued towards the bathroom for her shower, moments later the shower turned on. Casey placed a hand on her slightly round stomach and happily smiled. _God, am I happy. Guess that phone call during the night really "woke her up", doesn't seem like she remembers the fact that we fought last night. _Casey thought. She was really glad Olivia was no longer mad at her for whatever she had done the night before. The fights they were having were becoming more frequent and stressful, Olivia was always blaming something on Casey or pulling away and working late. Casey was becoming fearful that their marriage was falling apart. _A lot of couples marriages fall apart because of pregnancy. All you have to do is be strong and hope for the best. _Serena's words echoed through Casey's head. Casey curled back up and waited for Olivia to get out of the shower. They had things they needed to talk about.

Ten minutes later a showered Olivia Benson stepped out of the bathroom. She was dressed in her NYPD issued police uniform, her hair was gelled up into spikes, and her make up was perfectly applied. To Casey she couldn't have looked hotter. _Lord, do I lover her._ "You looked good. No I take that back you look hot." Casey said huskily.

"Thanks." Olivia responded with a wink. She walked over to her nightstand for her side arm and placed it in the holster of her belt. She grabbed her wallet, badge, and extra holster from atop the table and leaned down to put them in her police duffle bag along with her change of clothes for later. She zipped the bag up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed near Casey, she grinned at Casey's obvious look of lust. "Hmm, you know you look hot in uniform." Her wife stated while reaching up to fix Olivia's collar and badge. "Definite turn on." Olivia smiled at Casey's comment and leaned down to kiss her goodbye. Just as she was about to get up from the bed and leave Casey's hand moved out to grab her arm.

"Liv?" Casey started while waiting for Olivia to look at her; the brunette turned back and sat on the bed again placing a hand behind Casey for balance. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Olivia asked in confusion even though she had a pretty good idea what the blonde need to talk about.

"Last night, Liv. Who was on the phone?" Casey sternly asked. Olivia's shoulders shank and she sighed heavily, why did Casey have to bring this up now? Just when she was hoping to get out of the house with out problem this happens. How in the hell was she supposed to explain that it was Alex Cabot last night saying that she missed and loved Olivia and that she was coming back. Olivia reached out and took Casey's hand; she raised it to her lips for a soft kiss. "It was no one, sweetheart. Nothing important."

Casey huffed and gave Olivia an incredulous look. "Amuse me, Olivia, and don't lie. It had to be someone since you were clearly crying. Add to that you've barely looked at me all morning and you have this vacant look in your eyes. You're not acting like your self; you're trying to get out of this house as fast as you can. You never look at me like you used to, not even when were making love. Oh, don't get me wrong you look at me but your eyes are always empty, there's no love like there used to be. You used to look at me as if I was the only person in your world, your life. Now you don't make eye contact with me when were talking, or kissing, not even when were making love. What is up with you, Olivia? I want to know what the hell is going on!" Casey yelled in frustration.

"Casey, calm down you're going to hurt the baby if you get upset." Olivia tried.

"Oh stop about the baby, the baby's fine! You can't hide behind the baby this time, Olivia! I want to-" Casey stopped at Olivia's look of defeat and a thought dawned on her. "Oh. My. God." She quickly moved away from Olivia and anger flared in her eyes. "You- you don't want the baby?" She questioned in fear.

Olivia's head snapped up and she looked at Casey in horror. "What?! Of course I want the baby! What the hell makes you think I don't?!"

"Then why are you pulling away from me?" Casey asked as she tried to catch Olivia's eyes with hers. Olivia quickly looked away and swallowed hard. The blonde's eyes widened in horror and she moved even farther away from Olivia. "Liv? O-Olivia are you…are you seeing someone?" Casey choked out through tears.

"What!" The detective jumped off the bed and towered over her wife. "What the hell are you talking about, Casey! Of course I'm not seeing someone else! How could you even think that!"

"I just want to know what the fuck is going on with you, Olivia! You pull away from me what the hell else am I suppose to think! The only logical thing that would make sense is that you don't want the baby or you don't want me anymore!" Casey argued. "You're pulling fights with me lately. I go to the precinct to take you out to lunch and you tell me you have work to do, we never spend any time together anymore, and last you're always working late. Then last night with the phone call and the sudden need to hold me after, even though we went to bed hating each other because once again you had to pull a fight out of nothing. I just want to know what is going on, why you're pulling away. I just want us to be us again, Liv, can't you see that." Casey finally broke, tears fell down her cheeks and sobs wracked her body.

Pain stabbed at Olivia as she watched her wife cry; slowly she kneeled down next to the bed near Casey. She reached out and took the blonde's hand and spoke, "Casey, baby, please look at me." Casey sniffled but didn't look up; gently Olivia took Casey's chin and raised her face. "I love you Casey Benson, there is no doubt about that. You're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, the person I want to have many children and grandchildren with, the person that I want to be with until death do us part. Please believe me when I say that I never want to hurt you and if I already have then I am extremely sorry. I had no idea I was pulling away. Baby, I love you." Olivia cupped Casey's face and brushed the blonde's tears away with her thumb. "Things at work have been hard for me and the squad and I never meant to bring it home and treat you so badly because of it. That's no excuse I know and I'm sorry, I promise I will make it up to you if you let me. Please, Casey." Olivia begged as she leaned forward to rest her forehead against Casey's and looking into Casey's eyes.

Tears fell down Casey's cheeks and Olivia softly kissed them away. "Please believe me I never wanted to hurt you." She whispered in the blonde's ear as she pulled Casey into her arms with out resistance. Casey relaxed in her wife's arms and clung to her shirt as the tears and sobs started to subside. "I-I love you too, Olivia, I'm so sorry." Olivia sighed and placed a hand on the back of Casey's head as the blonde moved deeper into the embrace. "No, it my fault really, Casey. I'm the one being the ass and pulling away. I'm gonna do better I promise, I'll stop from now on ok." Casey nodded and Olivia placed a loving kiss to the side of her head. Minutes passed before Olivia spoke up again. "It was Alex." She whispered.

Casey pulled back and looked at Olivia in confusion. "She's the one that called last night?" The blonde asked, Olivia only nodded solemnly and avoided Casey's look. Casey tried to hold back the tears that were coming forth. She knew Olivia still loved the blue eyed blonde now ex-ADA, the ice princess would always occupy a part of Olivia's heart that Casey could only dream of having. "Casey," Olivia finally said, "She's, she's coming back." Casey numbly nodded and moved away from Olivia. "Casey, this changes nothing." Liv said with conviction as she reached for the blonde.

"You're right, Liv. It changes everything." Casey growled with a glare. "What? You think I'm dumb! I know you still love her; I was just a replacement for her until the day she came back. But I hoped, you know, I hoped so that you really did love me, that I wasn't a replacement. But I know that the moment she steps back in this city back in your life both I and your child will be out in the cold! Nothing matters to you when it comes to Alexandra Cabot. You never really loved me so just admit it, Olivia, it'll save you some explain!"

Olivia quickly stood up and loomed over Casey, anger flashed in her eyes for only a slight second before it was replaced with compassion and understanding. She understood Casey's fear for loosing her, she would feel the same if she was in the blondes position. Slowly she sat on the bed and slid closer to her wife. "Casey, listen to me." She softly said while reaching out for her hand. "Alex coming back changes nothing, I've moved on and I'm happy. I love you, Casey and I love our child, and nothing will change that. I promise Casey, I love you with all my heart. Please believe me, sweetheart." Olivia begged while moving closer to Casey with the intent to take the blonde in her arms.

The blonde shoved Olivia back and threw her an ice-y glare; Olivia huffed and moved back in to take Casey in her arms. Casey again struggled to push her back but Olivia over powered her and wrapped her arms around her. Casey continued to struggle in the strong detectives arms, tears fell down her cheeks, and soft sobs wracked her body. Casey's arms started to weaken against Olivia's embrace and she clutched to Olivia. The brunette gently rocked her and whispered 'I love you.' in the blonde's ear again and again. She ran her fingers through the blonde hair and waited until Casey calmed down.

When the sobs subsided and Casey had calmed down Olivia pulled back and gently ran her fingers down the blonde's cheek. Liv rested her forehead against Casey's and look deep into her wife's eyes. "I love you." Olivia stated with conviction and pulled the blonde into a passionate kiss. Casey's eyes clenched shut, wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and returned the kiss with even more passion. "Hmm, I have to go babe. I love you." Olivia said as she pulled back from the kiss, Casey dropped her head and nodded. "Baby, look at me." Casey raised her head and gave Olivia a puppy-dog look. "We'll talk about this later I promise. Now I gotta go or I'll be late for my meeting. I love you, both of you." Olivia stated as she bent over to place a loving kiss on her pregnant wife's tummy. "I'll see you later." She picked up her duffle bag and rose up heading towards the bedroom door.

"I love you too, Liv. Oh! I have a doctors appointment remember, you have to pick me up at two ok." Olivia stopped in the doorway and looked back at her wife and saying, "I'll pick you up and be there, I promise."

"Uh huh, you said that last time and you were 30 minutes late." Casey teased.

"I'll remember this time ok." Olivia walked out to the front door. "You better!" Casey yelled after her. "Go back to bed! I'll call you later!" Liv yelled back as she walked out the front door.

In her bedroom Casey pulled the comforter over her and laughed as she laid back. She placed a hand on her pregnant stomach and smiled. Her smile turned to a look of fear and she rubbed her stomach lovingly. "I love her I really do. And for her sake and yours baby she better be right." Casey said to know one and rolled over to try and go back to sleep.

TBC…..

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A/N: Ok so how was that for a first chapter? Good? Bad? Completely sucks and needs to be rewritten? I need you're feedback pleeeeeease! If you can give me any ideas to make this chapter or future chapters better please let me know and I'll see what I can do. Ok anyway, I'm working on this as much as I can and as time and school will permit. Do not be surprised if its week or two before the next chapter is up. I'm handwriting the chapters in my spare time at school then typing it out and so I don't really have a lot of time to write or type so please bear with me. This also goes for my other stories that I've posted and if anyone who is reading this story is reading those ones too, please keep that in mind. I'm busy so it takes time please don't hate me. Right now, since this story has sky rocked in the amount of reviews that it got, **_Lips of Angel II: Love Ever After?_** has been put as number one on my priority list. So I believe that's all I have to say. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and another should be up soon. Please review!!!!! 

-Raider


	2. Possesion

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

**Chapter: Two**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, Olivia/Alex (eventually)

Chapter Rating: **M for MATURE**! Do not read if you are under the age of 18, if this is illegal where you live, or if you just plain don't like it!

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

Note: _Italics _indicate thoughts.

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Casey Benson sat cold and alone in the exam room of Dr. Jodie Betteson's office, she was waiting for both the doctor and her wife. Once again Olivia was late and Casey had to take a cab to the doctors alone, sit in the waiting room alone, and sit in the exam room alone. The whole way to the doctors Casey had been trying to get a hold of her wife, calling the squad, calling Elliot, she even called the Police Commissioner since that's where Olivia had her meeting but no luck came for the blonde. Olivia had disappeared but when she talked to Elliot he had assured her that Olivia was on her way. _I think the nurses are starting to think Liv's a deadbeat or something. I know Jodie is getting just as annoyed as I am about her time keeping problems. _

The door opened and Casey hoped that it would be Olivia, much to her disappointment Dr. Jodie Betteson walked in. "I'm sorry, Casey but I can't wait any longer. I have other patients." Dr. Betteson flashed her a sympathetic smile and started Casey's checkup. "I'll stall as long as I can for the Ultra-Sound. If she doesn't show by then you'll have to solo it again."

Casey nodded sadly and watched Jodie begin her check up. The doctor started by checking Casey's blood pressure, that of which was high but not high enough to warrant worry. Next she checked the blonde's pulse, heart rhythm, and breathing all of which checked out as a clean bill of health. Dr. Betteson instructed Casey to lie down as she got the Ultra-Sound machine ready. Casey rested her head back and looked up at the pure white ceiling of the exam room, she sighed heavily at the thought that her and Jodie were going to be the only ones to see the baby.

Just as Dr. Betteson was telling Casey to raise her shirt over her stomach the door opened and Olivia burst in. "I'm so sorry I'm late. The meeting with the commissioner ran long, couldn't get out unless it was an emergency. Then I had to report back to Elliot, I took time to change, and then traffic was a bitch." Olivia explained breathlessly, she walked over to Casey and took her hand. "I'm so sorry I'm late, baby. I didn't miss anything did I?" Liv asked looking up Dr. Betteson.

"Not a thing really, Sergeant. Blood pressure is a little high but not enough to worry, pulse is good, breathing and heart rhythm is good. And now were going to see how the little one is doing." The doctor responded while applying gel to Casey's stomach, Casey flinched at the cold and Jodie chuckled. "Sorry, it's always cold. Us doctor's like to torture our patients that way." Jodie jokingly winked and turned on the Ultra-Sound machine. "Here we go," Jodie said placing the probe on Casey's stomach. "And there's your baby," Jodie pointed to the image on the screen, "He's got a strong heartbeat."

Olivia and Casey perked up at the doctor's last comment. "He?" Olivia croaked, a wide smile formed on her lips and her heart soared. She's prayed for a boy while Casey prayed for a little girl and many arguments later the couple came up with an agreement; the person who's right gets to pick the baby's first name. "Yes, a healthy baby boy. I believe Olivia was right." Jodie answered with a chuckle, she knew about the little deal between the couple and was just as eager to find out the sex as they were.

"Yes, I see that, Jodie thanks." Casey replied annoyed, she turned to Olivia and smiled. "I'm actually glad were having a boy, I don't think I can put up with a mini-Olivia." Casey chuckled while Olivia narrowed her eyes at her wife. "I'll remember that for next time, Case." Olivia looked back up at the screen and said in awe, "That's our baby, our little boy, Casey."

Casey squeezed her wife's hand before raising it to her lips and kissing her fingers softly. She caught Olivia eyes and smiled lovingly, she felt happy tears prick her eyes as she looked deeply in to her wife's loving gaze. "This has got to be the happiest moment in my life." Casey whispered as her tears slipped down her cheeks, Liv nodded and leaned down to kiss away her wife's tears. "And what was our wedding? Boring?" Olivia teasingly whispered back and Casey laughed. "No, that was amazing but I thinks this out does all the other moments." Olivia nodded softly in agreement and leaned down to kiss her wife. "I love you." Whispered Olivia as she pulled back from her wife's lips and cupped her cheek with her free hand. Casey placed a hand over Olivia's on her cheek and turned her head to place a kiss on Liv's palm. "I love you too, so much." A lone happy tear slipped from Casey's eye and down her cheek, Olivia quickly wiped it away gently and placed a kiss in it place. "You have no idea how happy you make me now especially." Casey smiled and reached up to wipe away Olivia's happy tears. "As happy as you make me, Liv."

A throat clearing behind them interrupted their moment. "Not to disturbed your happiness or anything." Jodie started sympathetically, "but how would the new mommies like a picture of the little guy?" The couple looked and gave the doctor a look that said 'do you even have to ask'. "Thought so, shouldn't have asked." Jodie chuckled and hit the print button for the machine. After the photo had printed she handed it to Olivia who held it between her and Casey.

"He's beautiful," Casey whispered softly.

"Just like his mother." Olivia stated lovingly. Casey looked up at her wife in a happy daze. "I love you so much, Olivia. You have no idea how much happiness you've given me, I thought I could only dream of this moment but you've proved me wrong. I couldn't imagine my life without you; I've never felt this way about someone before. I hope you know that, that I love you… until death do us part."

"I love you too, both of you, until death do us part. Nothing will ever change that." Olivia responded before capturing Casey's lips in a soft slow kiss. "Hmm, I believe you." Casey said after Olivia had pulled back. The two watched Dr. Betteson clean up and get them on their way. Olivia was finishing up with Dr.Betteson, who was explaining about all the vitamins and such that Casey was going to have to take and the diet that she would have to be on. The couple walked out to the front desk to set up another appointment for Casey and the baby. While Olivia talked with one of the nurses Casey stood back and pulled on her coat. She watched her wife laugh at something the nurse had said and felt jealously coarse through her. The petite redheaded nurse moved closer to Olivia and placed a hand on her arm, the distance between the two was too close to be friendly but Olivia didn't seem to mind or notice.

Casey watched in anger and jealousy as her wife allowed the nurse to openly flirt with her and even flirted back. With an annoyed shake of her head Casey quickly walked out the door into the cold November air. _I believed her; I can't believe I believed her. We were happy not twenty minutes ago and now she's off flirting with that ridiculously and badly dressed redhead nurse in there! And she actually expects me to believe her when she says that I'm the only one she wants to be with! How the hell am I suppose to believe when Alex comes back she's still gonna be with me when she's in there flirting in front of her wife with another woman!_

Olivia heard the door to the doctor's office open and glanced over to see Casey angrily walk out. She looked back at the nurse and noticed how close they were standing, the nurse's hand on her arm, and how much the redhead was flirting with her. Stepping back Olivia realized why Casey had just stormed out. Mentally kicking herself Olivia removed the redhead's hand. "Uh Tracey, I'm married and well my wife just stormed out of here and I'm pretty sure that if I don't go right now and apologize I'm gonna be sleeping on the couch which is something I really don't wanna do tonight." Olivia quickly turned on her heel and followed after Casey.

Liv found Casey sitting on a park bench across the street, the blonde had a hard scowl on her face and if she saw Olivia she didn't acknowledge her. Cautiously Olivia took a seat next to her wife, she leaned forward and rested her arms on her legs and started down at the pavement. She bit her lips and started turned her wedding band around on her finger to keep her nervousness at bay. "Casey," Olivia began slowly without looking up. "It was nothing I swear. We were talking when she started flirting I didn't realize she was until I heard you walk out. I'm sorry, Case really I am. Please believe me."

"Believe you? You keep saying that, Olivia but I don't know if I can. You tell me to believe you when you say there's no one else in your life and yet you have the audacity to go flirt with that what ever she is back there. And don't say you weren't flirting; you forget you used the same moves on me! You want me to believe you but so far you've given me nothing to believe! So how am I suppose to believe you when Alex comes back?! How am I supposed to know that you won't go back to her! Give me something to believe, Liv and maybe I'll change my mind." Casey choked on her tears and regarded her wife with a hard glare.

Olivia looked up with tears brimming her eyes and bit her lip, she turned to Casey and took her hand. "Casey look at me." The blonde looked up through her tears and Olivia felt immensely pained at what she's done to her wife. Gently she cupped the woman's cheek brushing her thumb over her lips. "I love you. I know that I've done so much shit that I can't explain and I've treated you so badly these past few months but baby give me a chance and I'll fix everything. I want to do better for you, for us, and for the baby. Please this is all I ask you, Casey and only because I love you."

Casey's lip trembled as she looked in to her wife's husky dark eyes. She allowed Olivia to pull her into her arms and clutched to her. "I love you too, Livia, so much."

"I know, I love you too and I never want to stop." Olivia placed a tender kiss to the side of Casey's head before pulling back and resting her forehead against the blonde's. The couple stared deeply into each other's eyes, falling into the love that shown through them. Olivia reached up and brushed away Casey's tears before leaned forward and capturing the blonde's lips in a passionate kiss. Casey wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck while the brunette pulled her closer to her warm body. Casey moaned when she felt Olivia's tongue slip past her lips to tangle with her own. The detective's hands slipped down Casey's body and lifted her to sit in her lap; Casey wrapped her one leg around Olivia and tried to move closer to her. Olivia ran her hands over the blonde's back under her coat while Casey ran her finger's through Olivia's short hair. Olivia moved her kisses across wife's jaw and down her throat, Casey let her head fall back to give Liv more room. When Olivia moved her lips back up her neck Casey buried her head in the brunette's shoulder. Liv stopped her kisses at Casey's ear and whispered, "We should get out of here. C'mon lets go back to the house and celebrate."

Olivia gently removed Casey from her lap and stood up, she extended her hand to her wife. Casey placed her hand in Olivia's and allowed the detective to pulled her up; Liv pulled her close again to one more passionate kiss before he two walked hand in hand back to Olivia's car. Olivia opened the door to the black Honda like a perfect gentlewoman for her wife; she walked over to the driver's side and got in. She reached across the car for Casey's hand she brought the hand to her lips and brushed them with a kiss. With a small squeeze Olivia let go of her wife's hand, started the car, and headed to their house.

* * *

When they got home Olivia put Casey to bed while she made dinner. Casey laid back and watched some TV while Olivia worked busily in the kitchen preparing their celebratory dinner. An hour and one Lifetime movie later, Olivia walked in and turned off the TV but before Casey could protest she turned on the stereo. Sarah McLaughlin's CD Mirror ball flowed through the speakers as the couple ate the romantic dinner Olivia had prepared for them in celebration. When they were done Olivia gathered their plates and brought them to the kitchen and loaded them and the other dirty dishes in to the dishwasher. While Olivia was cleaning the kitchen Casey slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom to put on the new surprise she'd gotten for Liv a few days before. In the kitchen Olivia was pulling out the small surprise she'd gotten for Casey from her coat. Holding the small black box in one hand she made her way back to the bedroom. 

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Casey laying on their bed dressed in a sexy red teddy. Liv blinked a few times and swallowed hard at the sight before her, slowly and sexily she walked to the edge of the bed. She gazed at Casey in lust and love she felt her body started to warm up as arousal coursed through her. Casey grinned at the effect she was having on her brunette wife and she licked her lips seductively. Olivia walked to the side of the bed where Casey was laying and kneeled before her, she took the blonde's hand and kissed the back of it. "I love you," She whispered to the laying woman. She pulled the black box from behind her back and opened it to revel a gold heart shaped pendant with a diamond set in the middle.

Casey's eyes grew wide and she gasped at the beauty of the gift Olivia was giving her, slowly her hand reached out to run over the pendant. "Its beautiful, Liv. Here put it on." Casey sat up and pulled her hair back so Olivia could put the necklace on and Liv climbed up on the bed behind Casey. After clasping the piece of jewelry around her wife's neck Olivia softly kissed her neck, she moved her kisses across Casey's back and to her shoulder. Casey leaned back and rested her head against Olivia's shoulder, the dark haired woman's arms snaked around the blonde's waist and pulled her closer. Casey pushed her body to mold her lover's as Olivia continued her kisses over Casey's shoulder, the blonde moved her right hand through Olivia's hair. Liv moved her hand over Casey's stomach and under the teddy to the soft warm skin of her lover, her free hand moved to caress Casey's bare thigh that extracted a moan from her lover. Removing her hand from the blonde's thigh up to pull the strap of the teddy away and move down her arm, Olivia kissed up her lover's neck. "Do have any idea how incredibly hot you look?" She whispered in Casey's ear.

"No but why don't you tell me and show me. Make love to me." She whispered back while pulling out of Olivia's arms and turning around to straddle her. She leaned down and kissed Olivia passionately, their tongues tangled, hands slowly and sensually ran over each other's bodies.

_**Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide  
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time  
The night is my companion, and solitude my guide  
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?**_

Olivia gently pushed Casey down to the bed and rolled on top of her. "You are strong," Liv said while placing a kiss to the muscles of Casey's arms. "Funny," She placed a kiss on Casey's forehead. "Loving," A kiss to Casey heart. "And so fucking beautiful!" She captured Casey's lips in a kiss and ran her hand up under Casey's teddy. Casey reached for the hem of Olivia's shirt and tugged, Olivia got the hint and sat up to pull the shirt over her head. Casey sat up as well and placed her lips on Olivia's bare sexy toned stomach she placed her hands on the brunettes back and pulled her as close as she could. The blonde kissed the hard abs of her lover as Olivia cupped her head and arched her back some; the detective looked down at her wife and gently brushed a lock of hair from her face, Casey looked up at Olivia while she kissed down to Liv's pants. She unbuttoned them and tugged, Liv got up and removed the pants throwing them behind her without a care. She climbed back on to the bed and kissed Casey while pushing her down on to the bed. She trailed her hands to the edge of the red teddy. "So what was the occasion when you got this?" She mumbled against the blonde's lips.

"Hmm, this. Oh and mind blowing sex." Casey responded while unclasping Olivia's bra and pulling it from her body. "Uhh, good choice. I love it." Liv said breathlessly as she removed the teddy from Casey's body and threw it to the floor.

_**And I would be the one  
To hold you down  
Kiss you so hard  
I'll take your breath away  
And after, I'd wipe away the tears  
Just close your eyes dear**_

Casey leaned up and took one of Olivia's hard nipples in her mouth and slid her hand to the apex of her wife's thighs. Olivia let out a long moan and buried her head in Casey's neck, she place hot open-mouthed kisses along the woman's neck, throat, and shoulders. Casey removed her hand from Olivia's hot center and Liv moaned in protest, the hand traveled up the toned body to her breast. Olivia moved her hands up Casey's sides and to her breasts, the blonde arced when she felt Liv cup one of them and tweak the nipple. Liv moved her kisses down to Casey's breastbone and to her chest, causing her hard nipple to slip from Casey's lips. Olivia took one of Casey's hardened nipples between her lips and sucked.

"Oh God, Liv!" Casey breathlessly whispered and arched against Olivia's mouth. Liv trail her hand down to Casey's hot center, she ran her fingers through the wet curls to test her wife's arousal. Casey's hips thrust forward against Olivia's fingers; Liv removed her fingers from Casey and the blonde protested. "Hmm, you did it to me." Liv said against Casey's breast. The arousing sensations driving Casey mad she pulled her wife up to her lips and kissed her until they were both in need of air. Lips, teeth and tongues tangled and fought, Casey moved her hands down Olivia's body to removed her panties so they were both naked.

_**Through this world I've stumbled  
So many times betrayed  
Trying to find an honest word to find  
The truth enslaved  
Oh you speak to me in riddles**_

Olivia pulled back from their kissing and began kissing down Casey's body. She kissed each of Casey's breast and the pendant that lay in the center of her wife's chest. She trailed kisses down Casey's stomach toward the wet curls of Casey's center. Olivia placed herself between her lover's thighs, she inhaled the sent of her wife before placing a teasing kiss to the wet folds. "Uhhh, don't tease me Olivia Katherine Benson!" Olivia chuckled and buried her face in Casey's sopping curls causing Casey to moan and arch against her lips. She ran her tongue over Casey's clit and opening, she took the clit between her lips and sucked. Casey's hips rose off the bed and she tangled her handing in Olivia's hair in effort to pull her closer. Olivia moved her tongue down to Casey's wet hole and thrust it inside, Casey's arched and moaned at the feeling. Thrusting with her tongue a few times Olivia ran it back up to Casey clit, she brought two fingers up and eased them inside her lover.

"God yes, Liv! Don't stop!" Casey breathlessly asked. Olivia grinned against her lover's sex and continued sucking and thrusting. Casey's hips rose to meet Olivia's thrusts, Liv moved back up Casey's body and to her lips. Her thrusting continued at a steady pace as her move herself over her lover and pressed against her. She captured Casey's lips in a passionate kiss, thrusting her tongue into her wife's mouth at the same rhythm as her fingers thrusting into Casey.

_**And you speak to me in rhymes  
My body aches to breathe your breath  
Your words keep me alive  
And I would be the one  
To hold you down  
Kiss you so hard  
I'll take your breath away  
And after, I'd wipe away the tears  
Just close your eyes dear**_

Casey moved her hands down Olivia's body toward her aroused sex, gently she ran her fingers through the wet curls extracting a moan from Olivia. "Hmmm, please Case touch me." Casey moved her finger back and forth over Olivia's clit adding pressure on every stoke. Olivia thrust her hips against Casey in a chance of gaining more pressure and friction. Casey gently eased two fingers inside of her lover and set a rhythm to match the one Olivia was using on her. "That's it Case, don't stop please." Olivia moaned against Casey's lips. Casey curled her finger's to brush against Olivia's g-spot and her lover jerked in pleasure. "Fuck! Casey, do it again. God baby that felt so good." Olivia moaned while burying her face in Casey's neck, Casey again brushed her fingers against Olivia's g-spot.

Olivia thrust faster into her wife and nipped at her neck. "Harder, Liv. Don't stop, more. Fuck yes!" Casey let out a hoarse cry as Liv brushed against her g-spot. "Oh My God Olivia! More, harder, don't fucking stop!" Casey thrust her hips up harder against Olivia's fingers. Olivia used her thumb to flick Casey's sensitive clit and her lover jerk below her in response, "Fuck, Olivia!"

_**Into this night I wander  
It's morning that I dread  
Another day of knowing of  
The path I fear to tread  
Oh into the sea of waking dreams  
I follow without pride  
Nothing stands between us here  
And I won't be denied**_

Casey continued to thrust into Olivia, while Liv thrust into Casey. Olivia felt Casey start to tense and her inner muscles clench around her fingers. She slowed her fingers and Casey protested. "I want us to come together, babe." Olivia said before kissing Casey again passionately. "Uhhhhh, faster baby I'm almost there." Casey pushed faster and rubbed her thumb over her lover's clit, she felt Liv's inner muscles clap around her fingers. Olivia started thrusting harder in to her wife and felt her inner walls clap around her fingers. "That's is baby, almost there. C'mon come for me Casey." Olivia whispered in Casey ear as the blonde arched up to Olivia's body.

"Uhhhhhh, God Olivia! I'm so close, please make me come!" Casey's eyes snapped shut as she felt her orgasm creeping up. "Casey, baby, look at me. I want us looking in to each other's eyes when we come please, Sweetheart." Olivia whispered while studying Casey's face, the blonde's eyes opened and locked with her lover's. Their paces picked up and became faster and erratic as they moved closer to their release.

With a final brush to her clit by Casey Olivia came screaming, "Caseeyyyy!" Casey came at the same time just as Olivia screamed out her name and arched against her. "Oliviaaaaaa!" She screamed and ached against her wife.

The couple trembled as they came down from their orgasmic high; Olivia pulled out of Casey and rolled off her, pulling Casey's fingers from within her. She looked over to Casey and raised her wet sticky finger to her lips and licked them clean. Casey moaned at the image and moved to kiss her wife passionately. "That was amazing." She said as pulled back from Olivia's lips, she rested her head on Olivia's shoulder and draped an arm across her stomach. Olivia pulled her close and pulled the blanket over their cooling bodies, she place a kiss to the top of Casey's head. "You're amazing. I love you, Casey Karrina Benson. " She whispered into the blonde hair. "I love you too, Olivia Katherine Benson." Casey said and placed a kiss on Olivia bare shoulder. "I love you, baby Benson." Liv said placing a hand on Casey's stomach. "I love him too," Casey said while taking the hand that was on her stomach and lacing their fingers. The two drifted off in to a satisfying sleep.

_**And I would be the one  
To hold you down  
Kiss you so hard  
I'll take your breath away  
And after, I'd wipe away the tears  
Just close your eyes...**_

TBC…….


	3. Past Flame

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

**Chapter III: Past Flame  
**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, Olivia/Alex (eventually)

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

Note: _Italics _indicate thoughts.

* * *

Ex-SVU A.D.A Alexandra Cabot sat professionally before Arthur Branch's desk. Dressed in her usual everything is business suite and attitude, she looked liked she'd never left the DA's office. Sitting at attention and listening to Branch tell a meaningless story that was somehow supposed to relate to Alex's time in the program. Smiling and nodding every so often, Alex found herself actually missing Branch's pointless stories. 

"Well now that's out of the way. We're glad to have you back, Alexandra, the DA's office missed you greatly." Branch said in his native husky Texan drawl and leaned forward on his desk. "Now we understand that you're back in town with now were to go. With you're great talent and arguing skills the city will be damned to let you go. So I'm offering you a place here."

_Well at least he's done with that stupid farm story. I have no idea how he can relate me to a cow and to my time in the program to that of a county fair. Wait, is he saying I'm fat?! Oh, he's talking to me now! Pay attention, Cabot! _"What? I'm sorry, Sir, I wasn't paying attention. You're story just hit a part of me that's still very much emotional from my time away." Alex responded sweetly and with a smile. _Yeah, emotional my ass! I still think he was trying to tell me I'm fat, jerk. Am I fat? _"What were you saying?" Alex asked while moving into a more comfortable position in her chair.

Branch cleared his throat disapprovingly and leaned back in his chair. "The DA's office is looking for a new Bureau Chief in the Juvenile Division. I was wondering if you were up to it?"

A small hidden grin formed on Alex's lips. _Bureau Chief! Damn, now I'd be the boss I like the sound of that. _"Sir, if you think I'm good for the job then I'd be inclined to agree with you."

"Wonderful!" Branch bellowed loud enough that you could probably hear it in McCoy's office while Alex chuckled happily. She was getting her life back piece by piece that she'd lost. Branch rose from his chair and Alex followed suit, he walked around his desk to Alex. "You'll start Monday and Stacy will give you everything you need on your way out. Good luck, Alexandra. Glad to have you back."

Alex grinned, "Thank you, Sir, I'm glad to be back." She shook hands with her boss before leaving the lush office and heading to Branch's secretary's desk. She picked up everything she needed for her first day on Monday and chatted a few minutes with Stacy. With a beautiful smile on her lips Alex left the DA's office to catch a cab. Once in the back of the cab she decided that she was having such a great day that she would stop by the old 1-6 to see some old friends. She leaned forward to the driver and changed her destination.

When the taxi stopped in front of Precinct 16 Alex remembered just how much she'd missed the old building. Smiling at the memories, the blonde leaned forward and paid the cabby before getting out. She stood in front the precinct and took it in; the building hadn't changed one bit, not even a new paint job or little repairs. She headed up the stairs to the SVU squad room. Walking through the doors she shook her head, the squad room hadn't changed either since she'd left. Desks were in the same place with papers scattered all over them, all except one. Olivia's desk was clean and organized as usual, papers stacked neatly in files, pens and pencils laid out to one side, pictures placed in the corner, and drawers closed tightly and locked. The room was still as hectic as it was seven or so years ago, uniforms ran around figuring out files and crime scene photos, while three of the squads detectives sat talking in one area of the room.

Alex smiled while walking up behind Elliot without a word, patiently she wait for one of the guys to notice her. Fin glanced at her for a split second before looking back at Elliot when it sunk in that he'd seen Alex his head snapped up. "Its Cabot!"

Startled Elliot looked over and came face to face with a ghost. He jumped up from his spot on one of the desks and faced the blonde. Alex laughed at the dumbfounded expressions on each detectives face. "Miss me?"

"Alex. You're uh back. What are you doing here? What about Velez?" A very confused Elliot Stabler asked. It was Alex's turn to look confused and her forehead scrunched together. "Wait. Liv didn't tell you I was back? I told her two nights ago, I was sure she'd tell you." Elliot shook his head and looked over to Munch and Fin and asked, "She tell you guys?" The two detectives shook their heads. "Well I had no idea." He said to Alex.

"Well Liv hasn't been very social lately with all the shit that's goin' on with her. Musta slipped 'er mind." Fin supplied with a half smile.

"Hmm, well Alex why don't we catch up in my office." He turned to Munch and Fin, "When Olivia gets in tell her I want to speak with her." He turned to Alex and led the way to his office. Alex was even more confused when she saw Elliot walking into Cragen's office and sitting behind the desk there. "Uh Elliot why are we in Cragen's office?" The blonde asked while taking a seat in the chair Elliot had gestured to before the desk. "Don retired about two years ago. I moved up, as did Olivia. She's Detective Sergeant now." He leaned back in his chair and smiled at the blonde. "Wow, a lot's changed since I left." Alex said bewildered. Elliot chuckled, "Awe, you'll get used to it."

"I hope so. What else is new with the squad?"

"Well…"

* * *

Olivia sauntered in to the SVU squad room with a big ass grin on her face. She'd just got done "breakfast" with Casey and felt like she was on cloud nine. She nodded hello to Fin and Munch before dropping her bag at her desk and checking her messages. She looked up and scanned the room for her partner; she shook her head disapprovingly at Nicole's lateness. _If I didn't like that girl for her humor I'd seriously fire her ass. _

"Uh Liv?" Fin quietly asked, Olivia looked up at him in question. "Why didn't you tell us Cabot was back?" All blood drained from Olivia's face and her stomach dropped. She didn't think the blonde attorney would be back in town as quick as she was. "S-She's here?" Liv croaked nervously. Fin nodded towards Elliot's office, "Yeah she's with Elliot." Olivia swallowed hard and looked to Elliot's door just as the door was opening. Quickly, Liv looked around for an escape, not finding one she quickly sat down and pretended to be working diligently.

Elliot walked up to Olivia's desk with a smug smile and Alex walking behind him. "Olivia, you remember Alex right?" He smugly asked while Olivia looked up at him with a look that said 'bite me'. Putting on a smile she stood up to face her past lover. "Hi Alex."

"Hi Olivia." Alex stepped forward and hugged Olivia tightly. The brunette was taken somewhat off gaurd by the embrace but eventually lifted her arms and wrapped them around Alex. The embrace lasted longer then it should have but neither woman was willing to let go. "I missed you, Olivia so much." Alex whispered in Olivia's ear, she turned her head and buried her head in Olivia's neck. Liv tensed when she felt Alex's warm breath on her neck and she was sure she felt Alex brush her lips against the side of her neck, tingles ran up and down Liv's body at the heat of Alex's and her arms around her. Closing her eyes Olivia breathed in Alex's perfume as her lost emotions started to take over. "I missed you too, Alex." She pulled back from the blonde and looked her over. "You look good."

"You too, Liv." Alex said after checking Olivia out. "So how have you been?" The blonde asked as she sat down on Olivia's desk and Liv took a seat in her chair. "I'm good." She said while throwing Elliot another look that said 'help me!' "Liv, why do you and Alex go catch up over lunch. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about." He said emphasizing the 'a lot'.

"Yeah uh that sounds like a good idea. Uh tell Nicole to just finish up the DD-5s ok." Olivia got up and grabbed her coat.

"Sure thing, just take the day ok. I'll tell Casey you weren't able to make it to her office today to go over your last case." Elliot said with a knowing smile and wink. "Thanks El, see you tomorrow." The brunette sighed at Elliot's coded offer to call her wife and tell her that she was out, she had no idea how she would explain to Casey why she was at lunch with another woman. Olivia placed her hand at the small of Alex's back and led her out of the squad room. _Oh boy Liv how are you going to get yourself out of this one. _

Olivia and Alex sat across from each other in silence at Ray's Bar and Grill. Nervously Olivia drummed her fingers on the table and looked anywhere but at the blonde in front of her. The other woman sat watching Olivia with a smile as she sipped her coke. Liv looked at her once and quickly flashed her a smile, she looked around to see if the waitress was coming with their food but was disappointed. Finding that finger tapping wasn't calming her nerves, Olivia picked up a spoon and started smacking it against her palm.

Alex reached across the table and placed her hands over Olivia's to stop the rapid tapping. She took the spoon from Olivia and set it to the side before lacing her fingers with the brunette detectives. Olivia tensed immediately and looked around to make sure Casey or someone that would tell Casey was near by, she sighed when she found no one she recognized. Alex smiled lovingly at Olivia and ran he thumb over the back of the brunette's hand. She was content spending the rest of the afternoon gazing at the features of the woman she was madly in love with and wanted to spend all eternity in the arms of. Liv tensed even more and tried to pull her hand from Alex's but the blonde tightened her grip before looking up at Liv in question. "What's wrong, Olivia?"

Olivia looked like a deer caught in headlights as she looked up at the blonde. Quickly she shook her head and responded, "N-Nothings wrong. I'm fine nothings wrong."

"Liv, I know you. Something's wrong, you're stuttering you only stutter when you're really nervous. Its one of your cuter aspects." Alex teased with a flirtatious smile. Olivia chuckled nervously, "Really Alex nothings wrong."

"Ok I'll take your word this time." Alex looked down at their hands with a goofy and happy smile. "I've missed you, Olivia so much." The blonde said in a soft loving voice and brought Olivia's hand to her lips. Olivia's stomach flipped at the sensation of the blonde's lips on her skin, she closed her eyes for a spilt second to bask in the feel. Tingles ran up her body as Alex pulled brought her hands from her lips and continued to run her thumb over the back of one hand. "I-I missed you too, Alex…a lot." Olivia stuttered out, Alex laughed and looked at Olivia in teasing disbelieve. "Only a lot! C'mon you missed me more then that." Olivia smiled a little and looked down, "you're right I missed you so much too."

"I thought about you all the time, Liv, I dreamt of you non-stop. I never really moved on you know, I lied I don't know why I did but I did. I guess I was trying to make you jealous or something." Alex played with Olivia's fingers and smiled lovingly at Liv, she ran her finger over Olivia's wedding band but didn't think anything of it just another random ring that Liv would wear. She was living a dream and wanted nothing to ruin it; she was finally, after seven years of hell back, with the woman she was meant to be with. "Liv, you have no idea how much I lov-" She was interrupted by the ringing of Olivia's phone.

"Uh hold that thought." Olivia said pulling her hands from Alex and grabbing her phone. She looked at the caller ID and found Casey's number. She swallowed hard and flipped the phone open. "Benson."

"Hi babe, I miss you." Casey said when she heard her wife answer. Confusion over took when she heard what Olivia had said. "Is something wrong? You never answer your phone like that when it's me."

_Why does everyone keep asking me that! Of course something is wrong! I'm at lunch, holding hands with someone who isn't my wife but my ex-lover who was about to tell me she still loves me, while now I'm on the phone with my wife! Does anyone else she something wrong with this picture?! No, right I'm the only one that knows! So of course there's something fucking wrong! _"Uh no, counselor." Olivia answered attempting to not sound worried or nervous. _Uh Shit! Now she'll know something is wrong. Its ok, Liv, just play it cool. _

"Ok, Liv. Now I know there's something wrong. " _Told you she'd know. _" Did I do something to make you mad? A-Are you pushing me away again? I can't believe this, you're gonna push me aside again! Even after last night and this morning! I cannot believe you Olivia Benson!" Casey Benson was fuming and jumping to conclusions. She'd be damn to let Olivia pick up the habits she swore that she would stop there was no way in hell Olivia was going to mess up again as far as Casey was concerned.

Olivia quickly thought of something to say without alerting Alex, who sat annoyed and with a faux smiled on her lips. At the same time she was looking for something to say that wouldn't piss her wife off anymore at the moment and at the same time tell Casey that now wasn't a good time. "Uh now's not a good time, counselor. Is there something you needed?" Olivia bit her lip when she heard Casey sigh angrily on the other end. Boy was she in a lot of trouble when she got home.

Casey sighed and clenched her teeth to keep from yelling at Olivia again, Liv flinched in response. Yep she was in big Trouble, that's trouble with a capital T. "Can't talk can you, fine I don't care. I just wanted to call and tell you to pick up milk on your way home. We'll talk about this later."

"Ok, counselor, I'll pick those files up after my shift." She said in code as she mentally filed that she had to not only pick up milk but also something to apologize to her wife. Olivia looked up to see if Alex had figured out she was lying, she sighed internally when she found the blonde looking out the window disappointedly.

"Ok, detective." Casey said irritated and hung up without a response. "MmmHmm, ok counselor." Olivia said to the dial tone, trying keep up her appearance. She flipped her phone closed and set it on the table. "Sorry, Novak's being a pain about a case. My partner, Nicole, forgot to pick up a few files. Damn rookies." Olivia laughed.

"Casey's still in SVU? I stopped by her office earlier before I talked to Branch, her secretary said she was out on extra maternity leave. I didn't know Casey was married or wanted children for that matter, lucky her I must say. So why do you have to stop by if she isn't there?" Olivia looked at the blonde startled, she tried to find something to say but Alex cut her off. "That wasn't Casey was it?" Oh it was but Alex couldn't know that because Olivia didn't know how to create a lie that involved partial truth and a flat out lie and had nothing to do with the fact that Olivia was married to Casey Novak.

"Uh no you got it me. It was the temporary ADA. To pick on her we call her 'Novak' 'cause she's kinda like Casey, pisses her and my wi- I mean Casey off." Olivia said quickly after her little slip of tongue. She bit her lips and looked up at Alex, praying to God that the blonde hadn't hear her partial slip. _I hope she believes me._

"Oh ok. So Casey Novak's married, who's the lucky fellow or should I say lady?" Alex laughed while Olivia smiled nervously. _I don't think you'd believe me if I told you. _"Oh its some detective from another precinct, she seems pretty cool." Olivia said nervously. _Why am I lying?! Because you don't have the balls to tell her because you still love her. You know detective you lie too much to the people you care about lately. Oh shut up! _ Olivia mentally told her herself.

Alex nodded approvingly, "Good for her. I'll have to get the details from her huh, that's ok." Olivia half laughed at Alex's comment. _Lets hope that's not too soon. I'm sure that after everything lately Casey doesn't need this. She'll divorce me for sure! And that's a bad thing how? No! I will not do this to Casey. I'm gonna tell Alex everything. _Olivia fought with herself. She looked up at the beautiful blonde and all the emotion she had long ago forgotten resurfaced. Her heart skipped a beat at the beauty of her ex-lover and her stomach flipped again. _I'll tell her another time._

"So," Alex continued while taking Olivia's hands again. "As I was saying before. I still love you, Olivia, I never stopped. And now that I have the chance I want to be with you again, I can't live without you Olivia, I did it once I can't do it again." Alex confessed softly while caressing Olivia's hand and looking deeply into the brunette's eyes before looking down at their hands again.

_Fuck! Think, Olivia, think! You have to tell her! Don't hurt Casey, think of your wife and child for God sakes! C'mon Benson take some responsibility! _Olivia looked up at Alex with wide eyes from the blonde's confession. She couldn't do this not now, she couldn't be feeling what she used to feel for the blonde before Velez. She had to tell Alex that she was married and to Casey and they were going to have a son. The rest of her life hung on whether or not she told the blonde the complete truth. That truth being that she had moved on and was happy again in her life after all of the dark things that hung over her head. So couldn't ruin the one good thing in her life, the one thing she thought she could only dream of having: a Family. But with Alex back she could have the family that she had dreamed of…right? Alex was always the one she saw spending the rest of her life with, marrying, having children with, dieing with. But with Casey is where the dream started, their love, their marriage, it all turned Olivia's dream into a reality and their son was only going to make the reality even more true. But that reality was standing dangerously on whether or not Olivia could tell Alex everything, her life and future as she knew it was literally held in the next few words she spoke to Alex. Could she tell her ex-lover that was always in her heart and on her mind that she'd moved on and was happy or would she make the biggest disaster of her life?…

Olivia looked up a final time at the blonde sitting before her. _I-I can't, I can't tell her. I still love her. I can't hurt Alex, I promised I never would. I may be with Casey but I never moved completely on, Alex has always been there, always on my mind. Right? _Olivia dropped her gaze to their laced hands; she looked at her wedding band and felt tears threatening to spill. _But do you love her more then your wife and son? _She looked up and locked eyes with the blonde beauty, she pulled one of her hands from Alex's and brought it up to cup the other woman's cheek. Alex looked deeply into Olivia's eyes and smiled, Liv smiled back and brushed her thumb across Alex's cheek. She'd made her decision, she only hoped that it would be the right one in the long run. Softly she whispered.

"I love you too."

TBC…..

* * *

So c'mon what did everybody think??? Did it suck? 'Cause if it did tell me so I can redo it and put more emotion into it or something… I'm sorry it took me so long to update, things at school are crazy this week! Now I'm hoping that this can hold you all over until I type up the next part, which I'm hoping will be tomorrow. But I'm going out of state tomorrow actually too so I don't know if I'll have time to update within the next week or so ok. What I'm going to do is type it during my twelve hour car ride and either post it Sunday or Monday if I have the time. So please leave me a response to this chapter and tell me what you think. I am completely open to any suggestions you might have and it would be greatly appreciated to hear them too. 

So incase you don't hear from me for a while… all those who celebrate the good ole American Thanksgiving, have a **HAPPY TURKEY** **DAY**!!!! And for those of you who don't have a **GREAT DAY **anyway!!!!!


	4. Heat

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

**Chapter: Heat**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, Olivia/Alex

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

Note: _Italics _indicate thoughts.

* * *

After hanging up from Olivia, Casey called Elliot in hopes that he might know what as up with his best friend. As the phone rang, Casey pulled the throw that was on the back of the suede couch around her body and tucked her legs under her, protectively she place a hand on her swollen tummy. She was still happily overwhelmed by the life that was growing inside her, the little life that her and Olivia had made. 

"Stabler." Elliot answered pulling Casey out of her thoughts. "Hey, Elliot its Casey." The blonde responded while moving down the couch and in to a more comfortable position. "Uh Hey. What's up? You need something?" He hesitantly asked.

"Yeah I'd like to know why my wife is acting funny. You wouldn't know anything about that would you? See, I just called her and she wasn't acting like her self. Whose she at lunch with?" Casey asked.

"Um the ADA, they're going over her latest case. Why?"

"She called me "counselor", she hasn't called me that in over seven years. If she ever does use that name its either because we're working or she's being playful. She wasn't being playful this time and she wasn't using her 'all is business' tone. She's hiding something, I know she is. So are you going to tell me what it is?" Casey was slightly annoyed that even Elliot, a man that based his life on honesty and was the one person that Casey knew would never tell a lie unless he really, really need to, was actually covering up whatever Olivia was up to. In reality he was lying on behalf of Olivia, which meant that whatever Liv was hiding was really big.

Elliot swallowed hard on the other end of the phone and tried to think of something believable to tell Casey. He knew that the Casey knew that he was lying which meant that he either told her the truth and all hell breaks loose between Olivia and Casey or he make up a convincing lie for the time being. The latter of which was going to be extremely are to come up with. So he decided to just tell Casey the partial truth, no harm in that right. "All I know is that she's at lunch. Tell you more if I could but I can't. The guys need me for something so I gotta go. Just sit down and talk to Liv, she loves you and you love her you girls will figure this whole thing out."

"Fine, Elliot you take care." Casey said disappointedly and irritated.

"You too Casey, call me if you need anything ok." Elliot said before quickly hanging up, the blonde hit the end button and tossed the phone to the end of the couch. She moved so she was lying down on the couch and grabbed the remote. Flipping on lifetime she curled up and spend the remainder of her day trying to figure out what could possibly be up with Olivia.

* * *

Olivia and Alex ate lunch in comfortable silence, occasionally gazing at each other with love struck eyes and feeding each other some of their lunch. When they were done Olivia paid the bill and they left hand in hand. All thoughts of Casey and her son were scares in Olivia's mind as she spent the day with Alex. As they stepped out into the cold November air Alex shivered and moved closer to Olivia as the brunette wrapped her arms around the blonde. They happily walked down the sidewalk without a care in the world and like they'd never been separated a day in their lives. 

As they were passing the park Alex stopped and turned to Olivia with a huge smiled on her face. "You have the rest of the day off right?" Olivia nodded. "Then let's go to the park!" Alex took Olivia's hand, turned and started into the park while dragging the smiling detective behind her. Alex looked around in awe. "You have no idea how much I missed the city. Where I was placed there was nothing to do, no one to talk to, it was just the middle of nowhere with lots of dessert or farmland. No cities." Alex said as they walked the path through the small park in the center of the city.

When they got to the small pond in the center of the park Alex quickly ran over to the edge, she grinned at the memories of her and Olivia at this very pond. Softly, Olivia walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her placing a small kiss to the top of Alex's head. Alex sighed and leaned back in Olivia's arms, she placed her hands over Olivia's. "This is where we first kissed. Remember?" Alex asked while turning her head to look up at Olivia.

"Hmm, I remember. I'd never forget." Olivia whispered while looking down at Alex and smiling. Alex turned in Olivia's arms and wrapped her arms around Liv's neck. She studied the detective's face; taking the dark husky eyes, lush kissable lips that were turned up in to a small grin, and just the beauty of the other woman. "Then it would only be right that our first kiss after seven years be here." Alex leaned up without a thought and placed her lips over Olivia's, the detective tensed. _What the fuck do you think you're doing! You shouldn't be doing this! What about Casey and your son! Think of all you're destroying! _Olivia pushed away those thoughts and slowly returned Alex's kiss. She lost her self in Alex's warm lips and embrace; she pulled the blonde closer and deepened the kiss. When both were in desperate need of oxygen Liv pulled back first, she rested her forehead against Alex's and brought her hand up to brush a lock of blonde hair from Alex's face. "I love you." Olivia whispered while looking deeply in to Alex's crystal blue eyes. She cupped Alex's face and captured her lips again in a deep kiss, Alex moaned before pulling back. "I love you too." Alex moved her arms around Olivia's waist; she rested her head on Olivia's leather clad shoulder and breathed in the scent of leather and Olivia. Liv wrapped her arms around Alex's back and buried her face in Alex's blonde hair, she breathed in the scent of strawberries and the blonde. They stayed like that, basking in their love as the minutes floated away.

"Let's get out of here. I wanna spend sometime together." Alex said pulling back from Olivia's arms and taking the brunette's hand. They walked happily out of the park and to Alex's hotel.

When they arrived at Alex's Hotel, the blonde took time to pick up her messages and tell the front desk to hold her calls. She turned back to Olivia, who stood in the center of the lobby and walked up to her. "The rest of the afternoon is ours." She said while taking Liv's hand and pulling her to the elevator. When they got to Alex's floor and were standing outside of Alex's door, Olivia embraced Alex from behind. The brunette started placing kisses over Alex's neck as the blonde unlocked her door. When the door opened Alex walked in, dropped her keycard on the dresser and turned to face Olivia who was right behind her. She pulled the brunette in for a passionate kiss and Olivia returned it eagerly. The kiss showed both how much the other missed and loved each other.

Alex pushed Olivia's coat off her shoulders, while Liv did the same for her. Liv pulled back from the kiss and moved her lips down Alex's jaw to her neck. Alex ran her hands through Olivia's short hair and arched against her hands as they moved under her shirt. Olivia removed her hands and started unbuttoning Alex's shirt while moving her lips down Alex's chest. After undoing the last button Olivia pushed the shirt off the other woman's shoulders and kissed the bare skin. Alex pulled Olivia up to her lips and kissed her deeply again while pulling Olivia's shirt over her head. Their tongues moved against each other and hands roamed over naked flesh. Olivia pulled back and turned Alex away from her, she wrapped her arms around the blonde from behind and Alex leaned back against her. Liv started kissing Alex's neck again and moved her hands across the blonde's stomach. Alex moaned and laid her head against Olivia's shoulder, opening her neck up for better access for Olivia. One of Liv's hands moved up to cup Alex's breast as the other moved down and slipped into the blonde's pants. Her talented fingers moved over Alex's panties barely touching the blonde's hot center and causing Alex to moan loudly.

"I've missed you so much. I missed your taste, your body, your skin, your eyes, your lips, and your love." Olivia sexily whispered into Alex's ear. She moved her hands to cup both of the blonde's breasts causing Alex to arch and moan. Olivia grinned and slipped her fingers under Alex's bra to tease her nipples. Having enough of Olivia's teasing Alex pulled from Liv's arms and pushed her back on to the bed, Olivia propped her self up on her elbows to watch the blonde. Alex took a step back from the bed and turned her back to Olivia. Looking over her shoulder with a sexily smile Alex began to move her hips, she reached behind her back and undid her bra allowing the fabric to slowly slip down her body. She moved her hands down her stomach towards her jeans, she unbuttoned and zipped them and slowly pushed them down her hips along with her underwear. Olivia looked on in lust as Alex sexily stripped for her; she bit her lip to keep from moaning and grabbing the blonde. After the last piece of clothing had been stripped from her body Alex turned to face Olivia, the brunette's breath hitched when she saw Alex's naked body before her. Alex slowly moved between Olivia's legs, she dropped to her knees before her lover and kissed her passionately. She ran her hands over Olivia's toned stomach to her back and unhooked her bra; she pulled the piece of fabric from Liv's chest and replaced it with her lips. Olivia and cupped Alex's head with one using the other to keep her body up, she dropped her head back and moaned. Alex moved her lips down from Olivia's breast and across her stomach, Liv continued to moan and arch against Alex as she ran her fingers through the gold locks of her lover.

Alex rubbed her hands up Olivia's thighs to the clasp of her pants, she looked up and locked eyes with Olivia as she unbutton the slacks and pulled them down along with her underwear. Alex placed her lips back on Olivia's stomach just above the patch of dark curls covering her center. Locking eyes with her lover Alex moved her lips over Olivia's center and slowly ran her tongue over the wet lips. Olivia threw her head back and moaned loudly at the sensations; Alex grinned and pushed her tongue between the swollen lips again causing Olivia to moan. Unable to support her body as pleasure course through her Olivia dropped to the bed and arched against Alex's lips. Alex circled her tongue over Olivia's swollen clit before taking it in her mouth and sucking hard, this caused Olivia to buck up and pushed Alex's face closer to her. Alex continued to suck and run her tongue over Olivia's aroused center, as Liv moaned and thrust her hips against Alex.

"Lexi, please." Olivia moaned, Alex removed her lips and looked up at Liv in question. "I want you up here in my arms." Alex smiled and moved up to Olivia, gently she placed her lips over Liv's and kissed her tenderly. "I love you." Liv whispered while brushing a lock of blonde hair from Alex's face. "I love you too." Olivia leaned up and captured Alex's lips as she flipped them over, pinning Alex beneath her. Liv moved her fingers down to the blonde curls of Alex's sex and rubbed her clit. Alex moaned and clawed at Olivia's back leaving red nail tracks in her wake. Olivia moved her lips to Alex's neck as she slipped two fingers inside the blonde; Alex gasped and wrapped her legs around Olivia's waist. Alex moved her hands down Olivia's chest to her wet curls; she slipped her fingers through Liv's lips and inside her. Liv softly bit Alex's neck when she felt her lover's fingers slip inside her, Alex gasped again when Olivia thrust her fingers in reaction.

Olivia started thrusting slowly into Alex and the blonde did the same into Olivia. They moved in the age-old rhythm used by thousands of lovers before them. Whispering loving words and using soft caresses they moved towards their release. Alex was the first to reach release and she arched against Olivia while deeply moaning the brunette's name. The feeling of Alex's muscles closing around her fingers and the blonde moaning her name caused Olivia to tumble over the edge of pleasure and she came moaning Alex's name. After coming down from their release, Olivia pulled her fingers from Alex and collapse on top of her. Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia and pulled the comforter over their cooling bodies. Olivia rolled off Alex; she pulled the blonde to her and wrapped her arms around her. "I love you, Alex." Olivia whispered against the Alex's hair. "I love you too, Olivia." Alex curled up in Olivia's arms and drifted of to sleep. Olivia laid awake when Alex fell asleep after their lovemaking, she looked up at the ceiling of the clean hotel room as a river of thoughts flowed through her head.

_What the fuck did you think you were doing?! Did Casey and your son cross your mind once since you saw Alex? No they didn't, you know why Benson? Because Casey was right, once Alex steps into your life nothing and no one else matters. Oh look at that Benson, you lied to you WIFE again! You just slept with another woman, Olivia! What in this life were you thinking! I wasn't thinking that's the thing, I let my emotions control my actions and I just fucked up! I just cheated on my wife and my son._

Closing her eyes in attempt to shake away those thoughts Olivia looked over to the clock on the nightstand. Bright red numbers flashed the time of 12:30 in the morning, Olivia sighed and looked down at Alex. Gently she removed her self from Alex's arms, quickly she jotted a note to Alex and left. She climbed into the driver's side of her Toyota; she placed her hands on the steering wheel and her wedding band flashed in the street lamps. Tears filled her eyes as she stared at the symbol of hers and Casey's love and commitment to each other. She rested her forehead on the wheel and sobbed as the impact of what she did hit her. _My God what have I done? Why did I do it? I love Casey and my son. I can't do this; it won't happen again I'll tell Alex tomorrow I swear I will. I won't make the same mistake twice. _ Olivia wiped her tears away, started her SUV and headed home.

* * *

Olivia quietly crept into her house she slipped her shoes off and set her bag and coat on the couch. She moved into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, and put her boxers and tank top on. She quietly tip toed into the bedroom, she found Casey fast asleep and smiled slightly. She gently climbed into bed next to her wife, sighing in relief when she didn't Casey didn't wake up. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Casey said sitting up and looking at her wife. Olivia cringed at the pissed tone in Casey's voice, she bit her lip and slowly opened her eyes to look at Casey. "Its one o'clock in the morning, Olivia! Where the hell were you?! When you weren't home by six like usual and hadn't called, I called Elliot, he said you went to lunch with the ADA around two and didn't see you the rest of the day. I called Sherry after that and she said she hadn't seen you since yesterday! So who the hell did you have lunch with? Who were you with when I called you earlier?!" Casey was irate, she reached over to her nightstand and flipped on the light so she could see Olivia.

"I-I had to speak with a witness and-" Olivia started hesitantly.

"Were you drinking again?! I thought you were gonna stop the after work drinks! I need you here, Liv, me and your son!" Casey yelled. Olivia was ashamed, the whole time she was with Alex her wife and son were nowhere in her thoughts. No while she was fucking her ex, her wife and son might have needed her.

"Casey, I'm so sorry. I wasn't with Sherry or a witness. I had dinner with an old friend; I needed someone to talk to and she's a physiologist. I figured it would help with whatever I'm going through and maybe help me fix what I've messed up. That's it, Case, nothing more." Olivia lied softly and moved closer to Casey. _I hope she believes me. I cannot believe I was so stupid! It won't happen again, I swear!_

Casey regarded Olivia closely for a minute, doubt filed her mind but she brushed it off. She allowed her wife to wrap her arms around her and hold her. She buried her face in Olivia's shoulder, closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of her wife. Her eyes snapped open when she didn't smell Olivia but the perfume of another woman and the sent of sex. She pushed Olivia away hard and looked at her in disgust, Liv's eyes widened in fear. _Fuck, I knew I should have showered! You wouldn't have had this problem if you would have be an adult and told Alex it was over. _Olivia mentally argued with herself as she looked at her very pissed off wife. "You smell like another woman and sex! Why?! And don't you dare fucking lie to me, Olivia!"

Liv swallowed hard and avoided her wife's eyes, she'd been caught and had no idea how to get out of it. _What are you going to tell her now, Benson? You have to tell her what happened, you can't lie to her forever. I don't know what to do that's the problem. I love Casey but I also love Alex. Why did this have to happen now, why me? I thought I had this all figured out, I was so fucking sure I'd moved on from Alex that I was happy with Casey. But now that Alex is back I can't think straight and I don't know what I'm feeling. _Olivia slowly reached out to Casey who slapped her hand away angrily and glared at her. "Casey, baby it's not what you think." _Oh that's original, Benson. _"When she hugged me her perfume musta rubbed off on me or something. Casey, I love you. Why would I want some one else?" Olivia moved closer to Casey in attempt to hug her.

Casey pushed her back and held up her hand, "No, I can't. Not tonight, Olivia." This confused Olivia and she sat back. " I think you should sleep else where tonight, Olivia." Casey stated and turned her back to the brunette, tears fell from her eyes and she didn't attempt to stop them. Olivia sat on her side of the bed stunned, they'd gone to bed mad at each other before but not once had Casey ever told Olivia to sleep somewhere else. Tears filled Olivia's eyes as she slowly got up from the bed, she grabbed her pillow and started for the spare room. She stopped in the doorway of the bedroom and looked back at Casey.

"Casey-"

"No! Just go, I can't talk to you. Don't bother to wake me in the morning." Casey numbly said as she turned her light off and laid down pulling the blankets over her body. Olivia turned and walked out as her tears fell down her cheeks. She walked into the spare room and curled up on the bed. She could hear Casey's sobs and this caused her to cry harder until she fell asleep.

In their bedroom, Casey curled up and cried. She placed a protective hand over her stomach as her tears stained her pillow. She felt so cold and lonely without Olivia next to her but she was so mad at her wife she didn't know id she could forgive her. Not twenty-four hours ago they were in this very bed making love and celebrating. Now, Casey slept alone with Olivia in another room for the first time in seven years. _I don't know how much longer I can do this._

* * *

TBC…. 

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!


	5. Uh Oh!

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

**Chapter V: Uh Oh!  
**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, Olivia/Alex

Rating: **T to M**! Do not read if you are under the age of 18, if this is illegal where you live, or if you just plain don't like it!

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

Note: _Italics _indicate thoughts.

* * *

Casey awoke to cold sheets and an empty house, she rolled over to read 8:00 am on her alarm clock she flopped back down and stared at the ceiling. For the first time in the seven years of her and Olivia's marriage Casey awoke alone and cold, she listened to see if maybe Olivia was in the kitchen making coffee or breakfast- silence only greeted her. Slowly she sat up and looked around the bedroom, she looked to Olivia's side of the bed and found her wife's firearm, watch, and bag gone that only meant that Olivia had left for work. The brunette had held up Casey's request to let her sleep and slipped out in the early hours of the morning without a word. The blonde got out of bed, slipped on a pair of sweatpants and walked into the kitchen, she hoped that Olivia was nice enough to make her cocoa before she left; she was disappointed when she found the pot empty and unclean since the day before. She looked on the counter to see if Olivia had left a note or something, once again she was disappointed when she found that Olivia had just left without a word. Tears fell from Casey's eyes as she looked around her empty house; _this is what it feels like to be alone. _

This routine went on for days that turned into weeks. Casey would awake alone and cold with Olivia already gone to work that was if the detective had come home at all. Casey would prepare her own dinner for one- alone, she would go to bed- alone, she would get up in the morning- alone, everything in the past weeks had been loneliness for Casey. She'd attend her birthing classes and such alone making excuses that Olivia had to work late to be ready for the baby, but if she needed someone with her she'd bring Serena Southerlyn; one of her closest friends in the DA's office. Loneliness and cold began to take over Casey's once warm loving life and heart.

For Olivia this routine had become normal without a thought, she'd spend her days at the precinct working and her nights would be spent in one of three places: The spare room of her house, the Crash Room, or most often then not in Alex's bed. She'd finish work and leave the precinct in the direction of Alex's apartment, not once in the time she spent with Alex did Casey and her son ever cross Olivia's mind. The days went by for Olivia and she felt herself falling farther in love with Alex and more out of love with Casey, or that's what she believed was happening. On occasion Casey would cross her mind she'd wonder what her wife was doing. Was she thinking about her? Was she at home reading up on her pregnancy? Was she waiting at home, alone and cold, for Olivia to come home and show that she was still very much in love with her wife? Too many questions and no answers that's what Alex was for- to erase all thought or questions of Casey from Olivia's mind. Olivia had long ago abandoned her wedding band in fear that Alex would eventually notice and all hell would break loose and she'd loose the blonde once again. She'd cleaned out most of her clothes to either keep at the Crash Room or at Alex's, she'd blown large amounts of her paychecks on gifts and dinners for Alex, she would blow Elliot off every chance she got when he asked her how things were with Casey. Elliot was blind to what was going on, he believed that Olivia had told Alex the truth and was with Casey, and not have a raging affair with her ex-lover but of course that was a lie that Olivia had told him to keep him off her back. Olivia felt as if things were finally perfect in her life and this was where she was meant to be. Little did she know that every moment that past that she didn't think of her wife and son was breaking Casey's heart and strengthening her willing to leave before her heart was anymore broken.

Casey woke alone again for the third week in a row; Olivia hadn't been home once in the past three weeks other then the quick minutes in the middle of the night to grab some clean clothes. One o'clock in the morning was hardly the right time for Casey to get up and confront her lover about what was going on and why she was never home for her wife and son. So Casey would just lie back and just say 'next time I'll talk to her', putting it off for as long as she could know that the truth of whatever Liv was doing would kill her.

The blonde got out of bed and headed into the kitchen to make cocoa, since she couldn't have caffeine, and read the morning paper alone. As the kettle boiled and she read the Times Casey debated with herself on whether or not to call her old friend for some advice. The need for advice won out, she grabbed the cordless phone and dialed a number she barely knew by heart.

"Brine." Came a professional voice on the other end of the phone. Casey smiled at the husky voice that once occupied her dreams before she fell madly in love with Olivia. "Hey Justine its Casey." The blonde poured herself some cocoa added a little milk in it and walked to the couch.

"Cas! How the hell are you?!" Justine said enthusiastically and focused her attention on the phone. "Its been forever since I've heard from you, well since you asked me to be your maid of honor at your wedding where I flipped out and acted irrationally and said no. You know I never apologized for how I acted, I was being selfish and immature but what did you expect I love you so much." Justine sadly said.

"Your apology is accepted, it was a long time ago, Jussie. But that's not what I'm calling about, I need someone to talk to and I remember you said that you'd always been there it I-"

"I'm still here for you, Casey that'll never change whatever you need I'm here." Jussie interrupted. "Thank you, Jus. You think you can meet me for lunch around one?" Casey said before sipping her coffee.

"Yeah I'm free the hospital won't mind that I'm gone I'm sure. Meet me a Della Angina's at one then, we'll talk and catch up ok." Jussie proposed with a large smile.

"Ok that'll work, I'll see you then. Bye Justice. "

"Ok, bye Casey." Jussie said with a chuckle before hanging up. Casey hung up on her end with a smile and headed off to get dressed and ready for the day, she had a few errands to run before meeting Justine.

Justice Brine was a good friend of Casey's since college, they both had a large love for the law and women its what drew them to each other. Justine was attending college for criminal justice and social work when she met Casey, who was studying pre-law, during a seminar. They two hit it off and became the best of friends which then turned in to love, Casey was the first to fall although she kept it to herself in fear the Justine didn't feel the same let alone be gay. It was around Christmas of the year they first met that Justine had admitted she had strong feelings for the then redheaded future attorney, Casey returned the feelings ten fold and the two fell deeply in love. It was their college graduation that their relationship came to an end, Justine had gotten a spot at the New York State Troopers academy and Casey planned to stay in the city. Justine had practically begged Casey to move up state with her but the redhead said no repeatedly she wanted to stay in the city do her internships and all that to become and ADA, she had no desire to leave the city. Their love ended when Casey said that they needed to go their separate ways, she didn't want to be the reason that Jussie was unhappy and unable to pursue her dream. Justine disagreed to the end and finally one day Casey just packed up and left, she was devastated that it had come to that but she felt that it needed to be done. She was still very much in love with Justine after their break up but she buried those feelings in the back of her mind and tried to move on. After she'd left, Justine got the hint and moved up state, she was still very much in love with the red head and always will be but she wanted Casey to be happy and if this was the way then so be it.

Justine returned to the city only six months after Casey and Olivia had gotten together, she was devastated that her once redheaded lover had moved on but she wished Casey the best. The two had become best friends after that but when Casey said that Olivia had proposed to her and that she wanted Jussie to be her maid of honor Justine flipped. She begged the once redheaded woman to not marry Olivia but to leave the detective to marry her instead. Casey refused and expressed how in love with Olivia she was, Justine gave up and said that she couldn't attend the wedding. Not because she couldn't but because she wouldn't, she couldn't bear seeing the woman she was still madly in love with marry another. Unbeknownst to Casey, Justine had attended the wedding, she stood in the back and felt her heartbreak and tears cascade down her cheeks as she saw the woman that she loved madly say 'I do' and commit herself to another. A few days after the wedding Justine had sent Casey a card saying that if the blonde ever needed her that she would be there in a heartbeat. And right now Casey was more then glad to have Justine to talk to.

Casey sat sipping her water and waiting for Justine to arrive at Della Angina's, she looked out the window at the passing people. Her eyes fell on a female couple that were happily kissing just out side the door, she saw how the two women looked at each other in just the spilt second that Casey watched them, the women were in love. _That's how Olivia and I used to be, we used to be in love and happy. What happened? _Casey watched the couple walked away from the restaurant hand in hand with the short more petite woman resting her head on the taller woman's shoulder.

"Why the long face, Novak?" The amused voice startled Casey from her moment of longing and she looked up to see the beautiful face of Justine Brine. The woman hadn't changed a bit in the seven years that Casey hadn't really talk to her much more then a short phone call. "How you doing?" Justine said opening her arms for a hug, Casey openly obliged and stood to hug her past lover. The hug lasted longer then it to just be between friends but short enough to not be mistaken for a lover's embrace.

"I'm ok, how are you?" Casey asked after she pulled back from the hug and sat down, Justine sat down across from her. "I'm well, as best as I can be working in the area I do." Justine responded as she signaled to the waitress for a drink.

"Doesn't get easier does it." Casey stated sadly and Justine shook her head. "For you it must be pretty bad, you have to listen to kids and rape victims tell their stories over and over again just to council them. It's was hard on me just being an ADA but to be a detective or physiologist like you I don't think I could do it."

"It is hard but I feel it's my calling, some days I love my job and some day I think of quitting and going back to law enforcement that or putting a bullet in my head. But I get through it." Justine softly said as the waitress stopped to take their orders, after the orders were taken and the waitress left Justine turned back to Casey. "What is it you need to talk about?"

Swallowing hard and playing with her napkin Casey began to explain what was going on with her and Olivia. "Things between me and Olivia have been on the rocks for the past few months, we've hardly talked or seen each other. The last few weeks have been the worst, about three weeks ago she got a call from a past lover she said that she missed and still loved Liv she then said she was coming back I don't know when, how, or why just that she is. Its put a strain in our already hurting marriage and well there more something really big that I think is contributing to all this distress. I'm pregnant." Justine's eyes widened and her month went dry, she was extremely happy for Casey and she reviled that through a dashingly large smile.

"So you're telling me that you and Olivia decided to have children but once you got pregnant she's pulled away and its put a strain in everything?" Justine asked to verify in simpler terms what Casey had told her.

"Yes. I don't know if it's the baby, or me, or if it's this past lover coming back, its all too confusing for me. She's not the same Olivia that I knew six or seven months ago, she's changed a lot. She lies almost all the time, she works double overtime, she's never home, we're hardly ever intimate, and when we do make love she never looks at me. Oh I take that back about three weeks ago when we first learned the sex of the baby we made love rather then just have sex like we usually do. That's another thing I don't get she hasn't asked about her son or anything regarding him, I mean its one thing to not want to see me but its another to not want to know about her own child. I get up in the morning and she's already gone to work but that's if she came home at all, and those few weeks ago I kicked her out of bed for the first time since we've been married and since then she hasn't slept in bed with me." Tears burned Casey's eyes as she explained the trouble she had with her wife, Justine sadly shook her head and took Casey's hand as the blonde finally broke. "The night I kicked her out of our bed was the same night she came home really late and she smelt like sex and another woman." Sobs wracked Casey's body and Jussie got up to sit next to her and take her into her arms.

"Shhh, sweetheart. Do you really think its in Olivia to be unfaithful?" Justine softly asked against Casey's hair. "I-I don't know, she's not the same woman I married, Jus! I don't know who she is anymore but it isn't Liv." Casey buried her head in Justine's shoulder and sobbed harder as the taller woman gently rubbed her back. "Case, listen to me you can't beat your self up with presumptions you have to go ask Olivia what the hell is wrong with her and you have to be forceful. Don't take a lame excuse as the truth, use your lawyer finesse and pick her apart for the truth because sitting around and wondering isn't helping you its hurting you. Confront her figure this out and fix things. I recommend that you two see someone: a marriage councilor, and you both need to talk to someone one on one and alone. It'll help, Case I know it will." Justine pulled back and cupped Casey's face so she could look directly into her eyes. "I love you, Casey still to this day and I want you to be happy, even if that means that I have to help you and Olivia fix things then I will. Your happiness is the most important thing to me, Casey, if you need anything I'm here ok."

Casey nodded and Justine pulled her against her, the blonde rested her head on Jussie's chest as her tears started to subside. "You ok now?" Justine asked and Casey nodded, "Ok so that means you're gonna go to Olivia office right now and you're going to talk to her, right?" Casey nodded and pulled back from Jussie's arms, she straightened her clothes and grabbed her coat. "Call me if you need anything ok. You want me to go with you right now?"

"No I have to do this alone, I'll call you later if I need anything." Justine and Casey rose from their seats and walked out of the restaurant. Casey hugged Justine a last time before saying good-bye and driving off in her Honda towards the precinct.

Parking her car and taking a few breaths to calm her nerves Casey got out of her car and headed into the precinct. She walked into the abnormally quiet squad room, the room was empty not even a uniform was walking around. She walked up to the lounge to see if anyone was upstairs, she checked the Crash Room, and the locker room, her search turned up no one. Stumped she checked Elliot's office and the interrogation rooms before heading towards Liv's office. Even though no one else was around she highly doubted Olivia was out since at least one detective if not the captain had to stand behind and man the fort. As she walked closer to her wife's office she noticed the blinds were drawn and semi-hushed voices filled the office this confused her even more.

Without warning or a knock she opened the door to find her wife in a state of dishevel and semi-undress on the couch with a blonde haired woman between her legs. Olivia looked up as the door opened and her eyes widened in horror, quickly she pushed the woman away and pulled her pants up. Casey thought she was going to be sick as she watched her wife cover herself and the blonde woman turn around to revile the face of Alexandra Cabot. Alex quickly buttoned her shirt and pulled her pants up she stepped back away from Olivia and felt awkward. Olivia buttoned her shirt and approached Casey, "Case its not what you think please let me explain."

"Explain what Olivia! How the fuck do you explain this!" Casey yelled as she gestured between the woman and the scene she'd walked in on. "Tell me Olivia did you tell her you were married to me or did she know and just decided to continue to be the house wreaking slut she is! Did you forget to tell her that your wife was pregnant with your child or did you forget to "explain" that!"

"You're married! You never told me you were married, Olivia, I thought we were being honest with each other." Alex walked up to Olivia and slapped her across the face hard and she then turned to Casey. "I swear to you Casey if I had known we wouldn't be here right now. I cannot believe you, Olivia Benson!" Alex said as she gathered her things and walked out, Casey angrily glared at her as she passed.

"Wait Alex! Please I can explain all this!" Olivia started towards the door but stopped when she saw the deadly look Casey was throwing at her. She stepped back and knew that going after her mistress was not a good idea at the moment. "Casey please let me explain all this."

"Yeah you're gonna explain everything Olivia with no lies! Why Olivia, was I not good enough for you, not satisfying enough? Why are you doing this Olivia?" Casey pleaded as her tear began to surface. "Where did we go wrong?"

Olivia looked at her wife in pain, she bit her lip as tears threatened to fall. She gently took a step towards the other woman who immediately stepped back, Olivia looked hurt and she stepped back towards her desk. "Casey, I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to find out like this. God baby I'm so sorry."

"Stop! Don't apologize anymore apologizing won't fix this! How long?" Casey looked directly at her wife who looked away ashamed. "Three weeks." Casey's eyes widened, Alex was the one that Olivia was with the night she came home in the morning smelling of sex and women. It was only two day after they'd found out the sex of their child, a child that not four weeks ago they were giddy in excitement of having. Now everything was falling apart. "I can't believe you! Why didn't you tell me she was back, why didn't you tell her you moved on, why Olivia!" Casey demanded through her tears.

"I don't fucking know Ok! I didn't want to tell her or you ok!" Olivia angrily launched herself from her desk and at Casey who shrunk away in complete fear at the murderous look in Olivia's eyes. "I don't have to tell you or Alex jack fucking shit understand! You have no control over me!" Olivia growled as she got into Casey's face.

Casey violently shoved Olivia back and straightened her shoulders, there was no way she was going to allow Olivia to scare her not this time. "Do you love her?" She quietly asked. "Yes I do." Olivia calmly said and moved back to lean against her desk, all her anger had been vented and now she was ready to talk calmly. "Do you love me?" Casey whispered, Olivia looked up at her wife and saw her tear stained cheeks and red eyes. "Yes, part of me does but part of me loves Alex. What I have with Alex is… I can't explain it. I love you Casey I do I just don't know who I love more, you or Alex. It's all confusing even to me and I'm the one feeling these emotions, I'm torn and I don't know what to do. I love you but the love I have with Alex is so strong so new if you can call it that. Understand Casey that you were never a replacement I had every intention of spending my life with you but Alex…I just can't explain it, I don't think I've figured it all out yet."

"Well you better figure it out soon Olivia, I can't only be loved partially by you, I need all of you: heart, body, and soul. I can't live with you only loving me partially and me being madly and hopelessly in love with you. What about our son, Olivia? What becomes of him, have you even thought of him at all?" Casey huskily asked through her tears.

"I-I don't know Casey, I need time to figure this all out its confusing me too much just a little space that's all I need." Olivia pleaded as she stepped closer to her shaken wife.

"Take all the time you need, Olivia because I can't do this anymore. I can't do the lies, the deceit, and the pain, none of it. You can spend all the time you want with Alex since I know you'll choose her. But I'll still hope that maybe in the end you'll come to your senses and realize that you do need and love me. " Casey slowly stated as she looked up to lock eyes with Olivia.

Liv's forehead scrunched together in confusion, "Casey? What are you saying?"

Casey looked at Olivia in pain as tears slipped down her cheeks. Her life as she knew it was coming to an end and she didn't know if she could handle it. She was about to speak the words that would end everything she knew at this moment and would send her into a deeper turmoil. She felt her heartbreak even more as she looked up and saw no pain in Olivia's eyes, they were only cold and empty to her. _She really doesn't love me anymore. _

"I want a divorce."

TBC…….

C'mon what do you think? Does it need to be more angst-y and tear jerking or was that enough. I need the feed back people!!!! R&R NOW!!!! Please and Thank you.


	6. Tonight

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

**Chapter VI: Tonight...**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, Olivia/Alex

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

Note: _Italics _indicate thoughts.

Note 2: I know nothing but the basics of pregnancy therefore I'm going to suck at writing anything involving that area. So don't hate me if I say something wrong or something happens that isn't possible or whatever just go with it. But it would be appreciated if you told me then I can fix it and make this as accurate as possible. Thanks!

**Note: I fixed the chapter and took out the unliked...ok the hated...part of it so this should be a lot better. So sorry about writing Liv out of character. Thanks for the reviews about, if you hadn't left them then I prolly would have kept it that way and it would have sucked. Thanks again everybody! Hope you like it this time around...**

* * *

"I want a divorce." 

Casey stood her ground, there was no way she was going to show weakness and cry again; even if that was all she wanted to do. Her heart was shattering it had since the night Olivia came home smelling like another woman. Her hard cold gaze bore in to Olivia with disgust and pain, the pain in her chest was growing to the point she felt she couldn't breathe. Olivia only stated at her, the only emotions playing on her face were fear and shame. Slowly she took a step towards the blonde attorney with the intent to comfort her, Casey quickly stepped back and sent Olivia a cold glare.

"Casey, please I'm sorry." She begged softly as she approached the blonde again.   
No you're not! You say it but you don't mean it, your eyes betray you they show nothing Olivia! Nothing! If you were truly sorry I'd see it in your eyes!" Casey shouted angrily causing Olivia to shrink back in mild fear. "What about our child! Our son, Olivia! You're gonna abandon him for that whore! If you don't love me fine but love your son!"

"I do love him!" Olivia yelled causing Casey to step back in surprise. "I love him more than anything, its just...just I-" Anguish filled Olivia's eyes as she watched Casey bring a protective hand to her pregnant stomach, she turned away in pain and shame. "I-I just have this fear inside that I won't love him completely because he isn't mine, that I'll treat him differently and that maybe I'm just not ready to be a mother." Liv whispered in shame and fear so low that Casey could barely hear her.

"He is yours, Liv, not completely but he is and you're more than ready to be a mother. You gave up your eggs so I could get pregnant and we could have this baby. You paid for everything, the procedure, the donor, and the nursery, so don't think for a moment this child isn't yours because it is! Without you this child wouldn't be here, you helped create this life inside me. He's part of you just like he's part of me, he may not be yours biologically but he's yours regardless." Casey explained softly to Olivia before she got forceful in her next statement. "Its time to take responsibility, Olivia not just for your child but also your life, you need to choose who and what you want!" Casey threw open the door to Olivia's office and turned away from the detective. "I thought so much better of you, Olivia Benson. I loved you." Shaking her head disgustedly Casey walked out and slammed the door in her wake. Olivia stood stunned and in pain as her world crashed around her. She loved Alex but the look in Casey's eyes hurt more then the night she had to let Alex go.

Sighing she sat behind her desk and buried her head in her hands to weep. She had no idea what to do; she knew that Casey was serious about her wanting a divorce, she wouldn't say that and not go through with it. There was nothing Olivia could do, she loved Alex she never stopped loving her. Before Casey she'd vowed she'd spend her life with Alex and now that she had a second chance to do just hat she didn't think she could give it up. Everything felt right and perfect when she was with Alex and that's all Olivia wanted. Or was it…

The angry blonde stormed out of Olivia's office in rage, she wanted to hit something or someone preferable Olivia. Her jaw clenched and her hands were in fists at her sides as she walked past a totally dumbstruck and scared Fin and Munch, she threw them a glare and they quickly went back to what they were doing.

"Casey!" Captain Stabler yelled as he came out of his office, he walked to Casey's side with a confused look upon his face. "Why didn't you tell me?!" Casey growled.

"Tell you what?"

Casey chuckled sardonically, "Oh c'mon Elliot you knew! Olivia was having an affair and you knew it! You could have told me Alex was back!" Elliot put his hands up in a defending motion and shock covered his face. "Liv was having an affair? I swear Casey I had no idea, if I did I would have stopped it. I should have known when Alex came back but I didn't think Olivia wouldn't tell her. Liv was so in love with you I thought she was going to tell Alex, I never thought she would do this! God Casey I'm sorry." He took the heartbroken blonde in his arms and held her as the tears finally broke and rolled down her cheeks and the sobs wracked her body. Elliot looked towards Olivia's office when he felt the female detective's gaze on them; he gave her a look of hate and disgust before turning back to comforting Casey. Olivia looked own in shame and walked back into her office.

Tears stained Elliot's shirt as he held a woman he considered a sister-in-law as she wept. _I can't fucking believe her! I thought she was better then this, not that she could stoop this low and be this deceitful and mean. There's just something not right here, this isn't Olivia she's not acting like herself. _Elliot soothingly rubbed Casey's back as she hung to him to dear life. "Shh, Casey it'll be ok you'll get through this. I'll stand by you every step of the way, whatever you need I'll be there." Casey sniffled and looked up to Elliot, "But Liv's your best friend I thought-"

"She maybe but what she did to you was wrong in every form of the word. I'm here for you Casey, remember that." He hugged her to him again and she rested her head against his chest. "Would you like me to drive you home?"

"No," Casey said as she shook her head. "I'll call Justine, she'll come get me. "She pulled out of the strong detective's arms and pulled out her phone. "Hey El, know any good divorce lawyers?" Casey tried to laugh but only a sob escaped her and the tears rolled down her cheeks again as she asked through her sobs, "Why Elliot? Why now?"

Elliot could only shake his head as his own tears fell; he had no idea why his best friend would act like this. After a few minutes Casey's tears and sobs subsided, she pulled out of Elliot's arms to call Justine.

"Jussie, it's Casey. It's over I did it. God I can't believe I did it." Casey choked out through a new set of tears that began to fall. "Shh, sweetie calm down. I'm on my way ok, stay there." Justine hung up and Casey closed her phone slowly. She looked around for a place to sit, Munch stood up and offered his chair while Fin went to get some water for her. The three detectives plus Liv's new partner, Nikki, sat with Casey until Justine arrived.

When the doctor arrived and saw Casey in a state of shock her heart broke, she felt incredible rage towards Olivia and wanted nothing more then to beat the living shit out of her for hurting Casey. She shook her head to chase away those thoughts, Casey need her right now vengeance could wait. Casey looked up towards the squad doors when she felt someone's gaze on her; she noticed Justine and quickly rushed into the shorthaired woman's arms. Justine hugged Casey tightly as the blonde wept against her shoulder; softly she whispered words of comfort to the blonde. Gently, Justine pulled back and cupped Casey's face; she brushed away the tears and looked in to the broken woman's eyes. "You'll get through this I promise. I'm here for you." She leaned forward and placed a long gentle kiss on Casey's forehead before pulling her into her arms. Jussie looked over to the on looking detectives, "I'll take her home, she can stay with me for a while."

"No, I wanna go home to my house. I just want to be alone, please." Casey pleaded as she looked up at Justine. "Ok I'll take you home then." The taller woman said as she brushed her thumb across Casey's cheek to wipe away the tears, she wrapped her arm around Casey's shoulder and started out of the squad room.

"Call me if you need anything, Casey." Elliot said to them as they walked out. When they were out of sight Elliot whipped around and angrily started towards Olivia's office. Rage powered his every step, his hands curled in tight fists, and his eyes and face set in a cold scowl. He flung the sergeant's door open causing it to slam against the wall and the glass window to shatter.

"Alex, I'll call you back ok but please we have to talk about this. I'm sorry." Olivia hung up the phone and stood to face Elliot, "El-"

"I can't fucking believe you!" Elliot roared and walked closer to Olivia, she stepped out from behind her desk and moved to stand eye to eye with Elliot. Both faces mirrored raging anger and hatred. " What the fuck are you thinking?! What about Casey and your son, you're killing them!"

"Its my choice and my life, Elliot I'll do what ever the hell I want!" She growled in response.

"Do you love Casey?" Olivia didn't answer but stood her ground. "Your son, do you love your son?" Olivia looked away in shame and pain before softly nodding. "Do you love Alex?"

"Yes, I never stopped." She whispered. "So that its then! She comes back and you throw away love and happiness for her, for history!" Elliot shouted in Olivia's face.

"I love Alex, I'm happy with her!" Olivia shouted back just and testily, Elliot calmed suddenly and looked Olivia straight in the eye. "Are you? Think long and hard Liv, this could ruin your life if you make the wrong choice." With that her turned and walked out, he stopped just outside the office and turned back to his ex-partner. "Get out."

Olivia huffed in shock and looked at Elliot in surprise. "Are you firing me?!" She demanded angrily as she walked towards the captain. "You don't get your fucking act together then yeah I am." He stated through clenched teeth.

"You can't fire me! On what grounds!"

"I'm not firing you now, detective, I'm giving you a suspension that won't be on your record. Don't come back until you have your act together."

"You can't do that, Elliot!"

"It's captain to you! And I'll do what I please, fight it if you want but you need the time. It won't go in your jacket so just go!" He turned his back to her and started towards his office. Olivia reached out, grabbed his arm forcefully and turned him to face her she brought her arm back and punched Elliot. The ex-marine stumbled back some and brought up a hand to check his spilt lip, he looked at Olivia angrily and moved towards her. Olivia stood her ground ready to strike again but Munch and Fin stepped in.

"Whoa, calm down." Munch said as he moved between the two pissed off cops; Nicole stood in front of Olivia and held her back as Fin held Elliot. "For that, Benson, you're on suspension. You need help, Liv, get things in check." Elliot shrugged Fin off and walked to his office.

"Go to hell, Stabler!" Olivia yelled after him and pushed Nicole away from her, she headed towards her office with the intent to pack her things and leave.

"I'll talk to her." Nicole offered as she started towards her partner's office. She softly knocked before entering. "Hey." Olivia looked over at her coldly and continued to stiff her things in her bag. "What the hell do you want!" She asked.

"Liv, calm down. What's going on? Why'd you blow like that?" She calmly asked, yelling didn't seem to help before so Nikki figured a calmer approach would.

"Nothing so leave me the fuck alone!" The angry detective started towards the door and Nikki stopped her. "Here, she's a friends of mine. She's great to talk to, plus she doubles as a marriage counselor. Talk to her or if not her then George." Nikki held the business card out to Olivia. "I don't need a fucking shrink picking at me and I don't need someone to talk to!" Liv angrily brushed past the other detective and stormed out of the squad room.

"Yes you do." Nicole softly said while placing the card on Olivia's desk and watching Olivia walk out.

* * *

"You sure you'll be ok? I can stay, Case, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be alone right now." Justine said as she helped Casey in to the house. "I just want some time to gather my thoughts ok, I'll be fine Jussie, and I'll call if I need anything." Casey said as she walked towards her bedroom. Justine watched her sadly go before leaving. 

Casey wondered past the nursery, she stopped just outside the door and peered into the sky blue room Olivia had decorated. Light blues, whites, and yellows colored the room brightly; the clean soft white rug tickled her feet as she walked towards the crib. She leaned down and grabbed bear and held him to her chest, it was the same bear Casey had grown up sleeping with. She looked around the room at the pictures of her and Olivia decorating the walls and a slow tear trailed down her cheek, she held the bear tighter and fell to the ground where she cried harder then she'd ever cried before.

* * *

Olivia threw her bag into the passenger's seat of her SUV before climbing in, her hands held the wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. Closing her eyes and mentally counting to ten Olivia tried to calm her anger; her life had crashed down around her in less than ten minutes. Feeling the anger and pain still coursing through her she began to hit her hands off the steering wheel in hopes of releasing her anger. All too soon she collapsed and the tears began to pour down her cheeks, while sobbing she rested her head against he wheel and cried into her hands. 

_God, what have I done? What the hell is happening to my life, to me? I don't know what to do. I love Alex but I know I love Casey too, there's just something about Casey that makes me love her but I don't know what. Now I have to choose who I love more…but wait I already made that choice didn't I? I made my choice the day Alex came back, I made it the second I said I still loved her, the night we made love. But I also made a choice to move on and be happy the day I asked Casey to marry me. I made all these choices but I don't know which ones to keep, who to choose in the end. I wouldn't have told Alex that I love her if I didn't and I wouldn't have told her I wanted to be with her if I didn't. I wouldn't have made love with her if I loved Casey more; I wouldn't have hurt Casey that way but I did I saw it in her eyes I hurt Casey so much. FUCK! What in the hell am I gonna do! There's only one thing to do, Livvy…who do you love more? Who can't you spend your life without, who are you most miserable without?"_

Wiping away her tears Olivia started her car and drove in the direction of her house. She pulled into the driveway and shut off her car, got out, and started into the house. She walked in and looked around for Casey, not finding her she walked off towards her bedroom.

Casey had heard the front door open and saw Olivia walk past to their room, slowly she got off the floor and walked in to the bedroom. She found Olivia taking things from the dresser and closet to put them in her large duffle bag on the bed. Breathing deeply, clutching bear, and vowing not to cry again and show weakness Casey spoke coldly. "So you made your choice."

Olivia didn't turn around or stop packing, "You made it for me, Casey, you're throwing me out."

"No, Olivia you will not blame this on me! I don't want a divorce, I said that in hopes it would put some sense in your head but I guess it didn't!" Casey yelled angrily. "I love you but you don't love me anymore so there's nothing else left to do! If you loved me, if I was your choice you wouldn't be giving up like this, you wouldn't be packing!"

Olivia angrily whipped around to face Casey. "You're right I made my choice and now I'm taking responsibility. I love you, Casey, part of me does but with Alex it's more."

Casey was growing frustrated with trying to get Olivia to see things clearly, to understand what was happening. "That's only because its new damnit! What the hell has happened to you, Olivia?!"

She stalked towards Casey and loomed over her. "Nothing! Don't you fucking get it, Casey, I'm happy now! I love Alex and she loves me so now I've made my decision!"

"So I meant nothing to you?" She timidly asked as she looked up to Olivia. "If I say yes will you shut up! Its over, Casey you said it yourself!" Liv stated coldly.

"And what about our child, Olivia! Are you just going to leave him or will you be part of his life!" Casey angrily shoved Olivia out of her personal space but Olivia moved closer and grabbed her with force. "I do love my son and I want the best for him that's why I don't feel I'm fit to care for him, that I'm not good enough to be a mother. I have all these fears that I won't love him that I'll turn out like my mother. Its hard to explain Casey so just understand when I say I don't think I'm ready, I need time to figure things out!" She growled the last part in Casey's shocked face, the blonde tensed before her own anger came to surface twice as bad.

"So that's it! You're going to go back to that house-wreaking whore! That fucking slut that you're no better than, Olivia! This is all bullshit, Liv!" She spat back in Olivia's face and struggled to get free. Liv saw red, without a thought she brought her hand up and slapped Casey across the face so hard that blonde fell to the floor holding her cheek and bloody lip. "Don't you ever call her those names and don't you ever raise your voice to me like that!" Casey stared up at Olivia in pure fear, never in the course of their relationship had Olivia ever threatened to or raise her hand to her. _What the hell is happening to her? What happened to my strong, gentle Olivia?_ Olivia was never violent, unless of course it was to a perp but other than that Olivia was as gentle as could be so Casey had no idea where this rage was coming from.

"O-Olivia?" Casey moved back in attempt to get away from the raging woman above her, instinct kicked in and Casey shielded her head and curled into a ball on the floor as Olivia continued to loom over her before she backed and realized what she was doing, her head dropped in shame. Liv didn't want to hurt the woman she once loved so much, she had no idea what came over her and caused her to snap like she had. _What the hell is happening to me?! _

Casey slowly sat up and looked at Olivia. "L-Liv…" Casey tried to talk but her voice failed, Olivia looked up at her through tears. "Casey, I-I'm sorry," She scrambled to her bag before running out of the house, Casey watched her go numbly.

_**It doesn't matter what I want  
It doesn't matter what I need  
It doesn't matter if I cry  
Don't matter if I bleed  
You've been on a road  
Don't know where it goes or where it leads**_

Casey reached for the phone on the nightstand; she dialed the number and waited for the call to connect.

"Hello." Came the husky voice from the other end.

"Jus, its Casey. I-I…Can you come over?"

"I'm on my way." Justine hung up and Casey fallowed suite, she leaned against the bed on the floor and wrapped her arms around herself. She spotted bear lying on the floor and grabbed him to hug to herself for all she was worth as she waited for Justine.

"Casey!" Justine shouted as she burst through the front door ten minutes later, she walked down the hall looking in to every room for the blonde until she reached the bedroom. When she saw the disheveled and shaken Casey on the floor she rushed to her side, she pulled the blonde into her arms and Casey wrapped her almost lifeless arms around her. Justine mentally cursed Olivia for all she was worth and vowed a painful vengeance the next time they met. Casey only clung to Justine as she began to feel emotionally numb.

"It's ok I've got you, shhh." Justine softly rocked the shocked blonde in her arms. She gently picked Casey up and carried her to the couch; she sat with the blonde curled up in lap with her head resting in the crook of her neck. She gently ran her fingers through Casey's blonde locks in a soothing manner as she gently talked to the blonde. "What happened, Casey?"

"Its over." Casey whispered. "Its really over." Confusion crossed Justine's face at Casey's words. "What do you mean its over? You and Olivia?" Casey nodded against Justine's chest. "I threatened her with divorce and she said fine, she wants Alex more than me and her son."

_**It doesn't matter what I want  
It doesn't matter what I need  
If you've made up your mind to go  
I won't beg you to stay  
You've been in a cage  
Throw you to the wind you fly away**_

Justine's jaw clenched in rage, how could Olivia give up someone as great and perfect as Casey for some other woman. "Shhh, don't cry sweetheart you'll get through his."

"That's that thing, Jus, I'm not crying I can't cry. I have no more tears, I cried them all for her." Casey numbly whispered and in that moment Justine understood, Casey was in a state of emotional shock, Olivia's betrayal really did a number on the blonde. "Casey, what happened before I got here?"

"We fought. She made her choice and it wasn't me so she tried to say I made it for her by saying I wanted a divorce and I was throwing her out. She packed up all her things, we yelled, I questioned her about the baby and she said she wasn't ready to be a mom and that it was to hard to explain what she was feeling but that he's better off without her. I got really mad and I called Alex a whore and slut so Liv hit me." Casey pulled back to show Justine the bruise, gently the brunette ran her fingers over the red mark that was quickly turning black and blue. Casey reached up and took Justine's hand in hers before curling back up in the other woman's arms and holding the hand to her heart.

"Casey, honey, I'm so sorry I knew I should have stayed with you. She had no right to hit you! I can't believe she would do this to you." Justine whispered against her blonde head.

"I kinda just want to forget it and think about what's next right now, it hurts to much to think about this and I have to be strong for the baby. I don't know what came over Olivia but I know she's not herself and she needs to figure things out, I don't think she really meant to hit me her anger just got in the way I guess. I just want to forget about it right now, Jussie, so just hold me please." Casey softly pleaded. "Ok sweetheart. Just calm down, you can't get too upset or you'll hurt the baby. I'll be with you every step of the way." Justine gently held the shocked Casey in her arms as the reality of all that happened finally hit her and she cried just one last time that night.

_**It doesn't matter what I want  
It doesn't matter what I need  
It doesn't matter if I cry  
Doesn't matter if I bleed  
Feel the sting of tears  
Falling on this face you've loved for years**_

TBC…….

Ok so is that better??? Or No??? Please if the characters are still out of character then give me hints to how I can make it better…PLEASE its would be really appreciated.

Now on to the other important message from me: I hope that this chapter can hold you out for a while. My primary computer decided to crash last night, causing me to lose everything (runs off to cry) but my parents bought me a new one for x-mas only problem...I gotta beg to have it before Dec. 25…wish me luck on that. So I will continue to work diligently on the upcoming chapters and get something up for you even if its only a few paragraphs just to hold you over until I can get my new Laptop, which I pray is soon. So please tell me how I did, I value constructive criticism A LOT.


	7. Explanations Part One

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

**Chapter VII: Explanations…Explanations…**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, Olivia/Alex

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

Note: _Italics _indicate thoughts.

Note 2: I understand that I have written Olivia way out of character but understand she's not suppose to be acting like herself. Olivia is going through a lot, which is causing her not to act like herself, therefore the out of character ness. Don't worry everything will be explained in this chapter.

* * *

After her unknown number of drinks Olivia felt it was time to leave the smoke-y, stale smelling bar where she'd been drowning her problems for the past few hours. In the course of three weeks everything in her life had fallen apart; the two women she loved the most in life, one of which was carrying her child, hated her for all her lies and deceit. She tossed a few bills on the counter, grabbed her coat and left the bar, once outside she walked over to her truck and took her bag and hailed a cab. She gave the cabbie directions and sat back through the ride, she allowed a mixture of thoughts and emotions run wild in her mind for the short ride. The cab pulled up in front of an elegant apartment building on the upper east side of Manhattan, Liv climbed out of the cab after handing the driver a few bucks. The doorman recognized her and opened the building door for her, she nodded thanks as she passed and headed to wards the elevator. She rode the elevator to the fourth floor, once the box dinged and the door opened Olivia froze for a moment. It was if that ding hit the right part of Liv's brain and made finally realize everything. _I think everyone's right, I should talk to somebody. I should have talked to Huang when I first found out about Alex and my…_She shook the remainder of that thought away and made a distinct plan to call George in the morning to make an appointment.

Sighing heavily, Olivia stepped out of the elevator and down the hall to apartment 17A. She leaned heavily against the door jam and raised a tired hand to knock before allowing her head to fall to the side to rest against the jam. The door opened to reviled a very annoyed and pissed off Alexandra Cabot. "What the hell are you doing here?" She asked coldly and crossed her arms over her chest.

Olivia shamefully looked up the angry blonde in the doorway. "I uh wanted to apologize, Alex, I'm so sorry."

"And that just makes everything better?! You should be sorry, Olivia, and so much more! How could you do this, especially to Casey! Why, Liv, why? Better yet why are you here and not at home fixing things with Casey?" Alex angrily questioned as ice-y eyes glared at Olivia from behind her black-framed glasses.

"Casey kicked me out, she wants a divorce." Olivia whispered and looked down at her shoes in shame. "Good!" Alex said and Olivia looked up in pain and disbelief. "I'm sorry if that hurts Olivia but I'd do the same thing if I was in her position. Maybe it'll put some sense in your head." Olivia flinched at the venom and truth in Alex's voice. "I think it has." She whispered to herself.

"Do you want a divorce, Olivia?"

"I-I don't know, everything is so confusing and I don't know what I want. I don't feel like myself but I know I want to fix whatever I can. This is all so hard to explain, Alex, and frankly I can't tonight because I've had one too many drinks and it's confusing for me to think anything more than sleep." She truthfully replied while looking up at her ex-lover.

"Then you need to talk to someone about whatever's going on in that head of yours. You can't throw away happiness and a child for me, Olivia I won't allow it. Talk about your problems before you make a decision it's the only way you'll make a clean and most likely the right one." Alex said with conviction.

Olivia nodded in agreement, "I plan on making an appointment with George in the morning. I just came by to apologize and well…I need a place to stay…" Liv sheepishly said and looked odwn at her shoes.

Alex huffed and rolled her eyes in disbelief. "Are you kidding me, Olivia? Go to Elliot's." Olivia bit her lip and once again looked away in shame. "I can't, he doesn't really wanna talk to me right now. We had a bit of an…argument." Alex sighed heavily and weighed what she could do. "You can stay here for **tonight** on the couch, just one night, Olivia you're gone in the morning. Got it?" She moved aside to allow the detective entrance and Olivia nodded a thanks on her way past. _Why am I doing this? I should tell her to go to a hotel or something but I can't because part of me feels bad for her and because I love her. _Alex shook her head and shut the apartment door before turning to face Olivia.

"Thank you, Alex. You know part of me really does lov-"

"Do not say it until you're sure its what you want, that I'm who you want." Alex sternly replied and moved past Olivia to get the sheets and blankets to make a bed on the couch. Once everything was one the couch Alex headed off towards her bedroom. "Good night Olivia, I'll see you in the morning." The blonde disappeared in to her large bedroom and shut the door, Olivia silently curled up on the couch and started up at the ceiling. _Maybe I do love Casey more. What if Casey's right, I only feel that I love Alex more because she's back its new. Arg! I don't know what I want or what to think. I never should have let this get out of control like this; I should have talked to someone when I found out about everything. I'm going to make an appointment with George tomorrow maybe I can fix and figure things out._

* * *

Olivia awoke the next morning before Alex; she folded the blankets and put them away before beginning to make breakfast for Alex. As she was frying the eggs the doorbell rang, she wiped her hands on a dishtowel, turned off the stove, and walked over to the door. When she opened the door she didn't expect to come face to face with a rather pissed off Elliot Stabler.

"How the hell did I know you'd be here!" He said snidely. "Elliot, its not what you think." Olivia quickly replied. "I slept-" At that moment Alex decided to make her way out of her bedroom after smelling the wonderful aroma of coffee and breakfast. "Liv? Who's at the door?" The ruffled and robe clad blonde stepped into Elliot line of sight, he shook his head and looked at Olivia in disbelief. Seemed Olivia was getting a lot of those looks. "Slept with Alex." Elliot finished for Olivia. "Too much to ask was it Olivia, you just ran right back to her bed didn't you even after everything you did to Casey yesterday. And Alex, I never would have seen you drop this low. Did you two plan this together, huh?" He angrily brushed past Olivia and into Alex's apartment.

"Elliot let me explain." Liv said as she closed the door and turned to face her best friend. "I came her last night to apologize, I asked if I could stay for the night, Alex said yes but I slept on the couch the whole night."

"Its true, Elliot. I didn't even want to see her but she had nowhere to go and it was late. She's assured me that she's going to get some help and figure things out. Right Olivia?" Alex pointedly asked of the female detective.

"Yes, I'm going to give George call today and see if he's free."

"So you're finally taking some responsibility?" Olivia nodded. "Good." Feeling the awkward tension in the room Alex decided to excuse herself to get ready for work and leave the two friends to talk things out. "Remember our deal Olivia." Alex said before walking off to her room and receiving a nodded for Liv.

"El we need to talk."

"I agree, so why don't you start by explaining your behavior." He moved to sit in one of the plush chairs in the living room and Olivia followed to sit across from him on the couch. "Where to start…" Olivia trailed off.

"How about the beginning." Elliot supplied. "Why do you have all this anger and rage inside of you?"

"Four or five weeks ago I was as happy as I could be, Elliot. I had a wonderful wife, a great career, and a wonderful little boy on the way. Yeah Casey and I fought but what couple doesn't its never got as bad as this. I truly wanted to spend my life with Casey and my son there was no doubt in that but then I got a call from Alex and she said she was back and its was like a domino effect after that, things fell apart. The day I saw Alex I was going to tell her I moved on, I planned on telling her about Casey and the baby. Before I could though she said how much she loved and missed me and I just froze then the next thing I knew I was laying naked in bed next to Alex. I freaked, Elliot, I got up and left I swore I wouldn't let it happened again. Then shit hit the preverbal fan." She tiredly ran her hands over her face and rested her elbows on her knees and looked up at her partner turned boss. "I was going to tell Alex I moved on the next day, after the first night Casey kicked me out of our bed. I had all these emotions and thoughts and it all confused me. Things didn't get better the next day though. I had planned on calling Alex and telling her about Casey and everything then taking Casey out to make up for all my shit and be truthful with her. I had everything planned out all I had to do was make the calls. When I got to the station there was a message from Don."

"Cap?" Elliot asked in verification.

"Yeah, you see since he didn't really have anything to do after retirement I asked him to help me investigate something off the record." She looked up and locked eyes with Elliot, a whirlwind of emotions played in her brown eyes. " I asked him to help me find my mother's rapist, my father." Elliot's eyes widened and he moved to sit next to Olivia on the couch; gently her pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "The message he left for me, he told me…" Liv clutched to him as she struggled to get the remainder of her explanations out.

"Cap found him didn't he." Elliot whispered and Olivia nodded against his chest. "Why didn't you tell me, Liv? Did you tell anyone? Why not tell Casey? Or hell Alex? Just someone, Liv." He desperately whispered against the top of his best friends head. He could only imagine how much this was impacting Olivia, that's where all her rage, hatred, and confusion was coming from. It blindsided Olivia. "Have you seen him or talked to him at all? Who is he?"

"No. When I found out I went to Alex's, I don't know why I just did and I didn't tell her. That's when the dominos fell. I couldn't stop and Alex knew there was something wrong but she didn't question she just knew I needed her and everything was so much easier with her. Eventually I just forgot and my life was on autopilot I guess." Olivia sniffled a little and Elliot handed her a tissue from the table next to the couch. "It's hard to explain everything with Alex because I haven't figured it out and it confuses me." She rested her head on Elliot's hard shoulder. "After I found out who this man is, who my father is I just felt so much anger and rage. I finally had chance to go and out all this on him but I didn't instead I attacked those I love and let my life fall apart because I'm too scared to face him." She whispered the final statement to Elliot.

The Marine's brows scrunched in confusions and he gentle rubbed his best friends back soothingly. "Why were you that scare, Liv? You're the strongest person I know, you've carried all this on your shoulders your whole life. You always said that you'd be ready to face him if you ever found him, that you'd be ready the day closure came and I told you I'd be there for you every step of the way. Why didn't you tell me?" He pulled back to look at his teary eyes friend who only shrugged in response, gently he brushed her tears away and hugged her again.

"I don't know, El, I don't know why I didn't tell you Lord knows I wanted to. I swore I would tell you, that I'd be strong so I could get through this but I don't know if I can. I'm afraid that when I see him I'll look like him and even be him." She whispered into the crook of Elliot's neck and wrapped her arms tighter around his middle.

Elliot pulled back, cupped Olivia's face, and looked her right in the eye. "Listen to me, Olivia, you could never be him. You are who you are no matter how you were created and who your parents are. You aren't and never will be like him in anyway." Olivia looked at him through tear filled eyes and slowly nodded at the sincerity of his words and the loving and caring look in his crystal blue eyes. "Still Liv you need to talk to someone to get your head on straight but understand that I, Casey, Alex, and the whole squad will be with you all the way." Gently he smiled at Olivia to show the truth in his statement, she half smiled back and hugged him tightly.

"Elliot," she said against his chest, "How's Casey and the baby? I know it hit Casey pretty hard and it's killing me that I did. Can you tell her I'm sorry."

"You can tell her yourself. You need to talk to her too, tell her everything you told me its the first step to fixing things. But first, make that call to George." He picked up the phone and handed it to Olivia. "Thank you, Elliot. I love you and I'm sorry about punching you."

"Awe don't worry about it I understand. This is the least I can do for you because I love you and you helped fix things with Kathy and me, its only fair." He said sincerely and threw his best friend a reassuring smile. With that smile Olivia dialed the number to Huang's office. "George? You have any free time to help a friend talk about her problems?" She nervously waited for George's reply; she flashed Elliot a smile when she got his answer. "Thanks you, George. This helps a lot. I'll see you tomorrow at 10 a.m. then." She hit the end button and put the phone on the table, she looked over to Elliot and smiled shortly while Elliot quickly stood and walked over to hug her. "You should tell Casey all this before Alex, Case deserves that much at least." He whispered against the top of Olivia's head.

"You're right, lets go do that now. I can't put all this off any longer, Elliot." She pulled away and grabbed her coat, she left Alex a note explaining where she was going and thanking her for her hospitality. She then followed Eliot out of the apartment with her head held high and determination to set things right set on her face.

TBC…

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Ok so how was the to just hold everyone off. Sorry it took me sooooo long to update but it seems my Muse has taken a vacation while I'm without my laptop. I'm hoping that the next few chapters will explain everything for those who are confused and believe Liv is out of character. Now bear in mind this is the first time I've tried to write Casey, in other words this is my first C/O fic, so I'm kinda lost on how Casey acts and that so yeah she might be a little outta character and I'm sorry for that. So anyway, that's it for this chapter the next one should be up soon…. I hope lol. Please R&R!!! 


	8. Explanations Part Two

**Lips of An Angel II: Love Ever After?**

**Chapter Eight: Explanations Part Two**

Author: SVURaider1-6

Pairing: Olivia/Casey, some Olivia/Alex (eventually)

Disclaimer: Not mine...blah blah blah…you know the drill. Dick owns 'em I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun.

**Sequel to Lips of an Angel.**You have to read that story to really understand this one..

Notes: Takes place about five years or so after Alex went into WPP. Elliot got a promoting and is now Captain of SVU since Cragen retired. (Don't worry he still helps out the squad) Olivia got a promoting as well and is now Detective Sergeant (But her job really hasn't changed, if that makes sense). Fin and Munch both have the same job only because they're really laid back and don't care (don't hate me for that if you're a Fin or Munch fan) Everything else should be explained in the up coming chapters but if you're at all confused feel free to e-mail me or whatever and I'll try to explain everything for you.

Summary: Now that Alex is coming back Olivia has to choose. Who will it be? Casey and the Baby? Or Alex Cabot?

* * *

Taking a deep breath and looking over at Elliot for encouragement Olivia slowly raised her fist to knock on the door of her house. She waited nervously with her heart pounding in her chest for the door to open, Elliot picked up on his best friend's jitters and put a relaxing had on her shoulder. Liv could hear foot steps approaching the door from the other side, the lock clicked and the silver knob turned before the door opened. Liv looked up in expectation of finding Casey in front of her but was sadly disappointed when she came face to face with a very irritated Justine.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Haven't you caused enough pain?" The pissed off doctor growled.

"I need to talk to Casey," Olivia softly asked while raising her eyes up to the brunette.

Justine laughed harshly and shook her head at the broken detective. "She doesn't want to talk to you. Haven't you put her through enough?" Justine harshly whispered so not to alert Casey to her guests.

Olivia sighed heavily and stepped closer to Justine, she looked up at the doctor with a cold gaze and forcefully spoke. "No. I came to apologize and explain my actions."

"Let her talk to Casey now, Justine." Elliot said as he stepped up next to Olivia. Justine merely looked at him before looking back at Olivia with a sneer. "No."

"Jussie?" Came a soft and hoarse voice from the taller doctor, Justine turned and walked towards Casey. "Case, go back to bed you need to get some rest." Justine explained softly. "No. I heard Elliot at the door, I want to speak to him so just let him..." Casey trailed off as she looked towards the door and her eyes landed on Olivia. "Liv." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around her body and stepped back.

Olivia looked up at her and flinched when she saw the purple bruise on the blonde's beautiful face, Casey noticed Olivia's look and turned away. "Casey..." Olivia brushed past Justine and to Casey's side. "Casey, sweetheart I am so sorry." Olivia lifted her hand to turn the blonde's face towards but Casey pulled away and stepped back.

"Are you, Olivia?" Casey asked threw her teeth and looked up coldly at her wife.

"Yes, Casey. I'm so sorry about everything. I know I've fucked up so bad and now I'm ready to fix everything. Please believe me, Case. I'm going to fix things starting now." Olivia stepped close to Casey and moved to embrace her but the blonde shoved her back. "Don't you fucking touch me." Olivia stepped back with a pained expression on her face as Casey looked up at her in hatred. "Don't you think for a second that you can come here and apologize so everything would be fine because it won't! You hurt me Olivia, I put my trust and love in you and you just threw it away for her!"

"I know, Casey and it kills me that I hurt you but I'm here to fix everything. Please sweetheart let me explain." Olivia begged as she reached out to her wife. Casey looked up towards Justine, who didn't look to happy, and to Elliot, who gave her a reassuring smile. Sighing heavily, Casey looked back at Olivia and then towards the living room. "We can talk alone in the living room. Jussie, you can either go or just stay but do not interrupt us. I know you have it out for Liv but I need to hear her out. Ok?" Justine nodded dejectedly and headed into the kitchen with Elliot following. Casey turned and started into the living room with Olivia following. The blonde walked over to the couch and took a seat, she picked up her bear that was at the foot of the couch and hugged him to her chest. Olivia smiled softly at the sight and took a seat in one of the chairs across from Casey. Olivia nervously wrung her hands as she and Casey sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

"Why, Olivia? I think I deserve to know that much." Casey said harshly after the long period of silence.

"You do deserve to know, Case and I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner." Olivia began slowly. " I haven't figured everything out but I believe I figured out enough of what has caused my behavior and my unfaithfulness. I never wanted this to happen, never in my wildest nightmares have I ever wanted to hurt you or my son."

"Could have fooled me." Casey huffed with a glare.

Olivia buried her face in her hands in shame. She swore she wouldn't get angry that she would handle this in a calm and civil manner. But if Casey wanted to scream and yell to vent whatever she was holding in then Olivia would allow that. "Five weeks ago, Casey I couldn't imagine my life without you and my son. I was happy beyond my wildest dreams, I wanted to spend my life with you. But then Alex came back and everything fell apart. I planned on telling her that I had moved on, that I was happy and in love with a woman that has made my life amazing and is giving my the one thing I dreamed about having- a loving and complete family. But everything happened so fast and I didn't know how to stop it, all these emotions and problems came into view and I was just helpless." Olivia whispered the last part and looked up at Casey with pained eyes. Liv wasn't one to admit when she felt helpless or vulnerable so if the off chance that she did came up then she meant it. Casey caught the pain in her wife's eyes and looked away, she closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep from taking Liv in her arms. She wanted to be mad at Olivia not break down and tell her everything was ok at the first moment the brunette shows any type of pain or weakness.

"That doesn't change the fact that you hurt me and broke my heart and trust, Olivia. So right about now I don't care what you felt." Casey said harshly.

"I know and I'm not looking to give you an excuse because there is none for what I've don't to you. I messed up and its really confusing to me, so confusing that I don't know how to explain it. I don't know what happened it just did and it happened fast. I hate my self for what I've done to you, to my son, my friends, myself. This kills me Casey because I hurt you and for the life of me I don't know why." Tears fell from Olivia's eyes and her voice choked up. "I was going to tell Alex everything the very next day, the night after we, Alex and I..." Liv couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"The night you fucked her while your son and I sat at home waiting for you." Casey growled in disgust causing Olivia to cringe and close her eyes tightly.

"Casey...please let me finish." Olivia pleaded, Casey merely nodded in a pissed off manner. "I was going to tell Alex, really I was but when I got to the precinct I had a message from Don." Olivia stopped and took a deep breath, she looked up Casey through her tears. "He found my father, Case. After that everything collapse and I had no idea what to do. I went to Alex when I should have gone to you and I don't know why I did. This knowledge cause a whirlwind of emotions and confusion in me and I had no fucking idea what to do so I went to Alex. I guess she was just a way to forget or something I don't know. I went to her for the comfort that I should gone to you for and I took my anger and the worst emotions out on you. And that in its self is unforgivable." Olivia stopped and rubbed a hand over her tear streaked face. "I don't know how to explain everything better than this because I haven't figured it out. I need help, Casey, I understand that and I've already made and appointment with George. I'm ready to get my life back together and fix everything. I want to be the Olivia I was before all this, I just want everything to be like it was."

Casey shook her head slowly and glanced around her living room. "That doesn't explain anything, Olivia. That doesn't explain why you left me for her. Why you don't feel that you're fit to be a mother."

Olivia nodded solemnly, "I don't feel fit to be a mother because I'm afraid I'll turn out like my mother. Look at what I've already done. I've hurt you emotionally and physically." Liv said as she gestured to the bruise on Casey's cheek, the blonde slowly reached up to touch the swelling cheek. "That tells you that I'm not fit to be a mother. I have fears that I'll be like my mother and hurt those I love...or those I should love. I have fears that I'll be like him, my father, too. He did evil things, Casey. I thought I've seen it all in my time with SVU but what I've seen doesn't compare to what he's done to children and women. He truly is evil and I'm afraid that's what I'll turn out to be. Mix what my mother was like to that and I have no hope that I won't turn out like them."

Casey shook her head to keep from flipping out on the detective. "You aren't your mother or you father, Olivia. You're the greatest woman and cop that I've ever known and you'll make a great mother. You can't hide behind the two people that you hate actions and the way they are or were. That's being a coward and that's one thing I was sure you weren't but I guess I was wrong. You're not the person I fell in love with and married, Olivia, now I don't know what you are or who you are. And I have a fear too Olivia, I fear that you'll never be even close to who or what you were and that we'll never be how we were." Casey felt tears prick her eyes and she quickly moved to rub them away, she got up and walked over to the fireplace and looked down into the hot coals. "I love you, Olivia and I'll never stop but I don't think I can be with you...ever" Casey whispered with pain as her tears finally dropped down her cheeks.

Olivia looked up at Casey in horror and pain. "Casey please...don't do this."

"You've already done it! You've already ruined our marriage and my life, Olivia! I have to do this because I can't wait around for you, I have to think about my son and what he needs. I have to start moving on." Casey stated numbly.

"So that's it! I give you my explanation and tell you that I'm getting help to fix everything I've done and you still want to leave me!" Olivia said in angry as she jumped up from her seat.

"It was barely an explanation, Olivia! I can't wait around for you to figure out what you need and when you need it, I have to move on for my son its what he needs."

"He needs me, he needs his other mom. Please Casey." Olivia begged and she stepped up next to the blond.

Casey whipped around angrily to face Olivia. "You're what he needs? Not five minutes ago you were telling me you didn't think you were fit to be a mother! Now you tell me he needs you! Yeah he needs to be around an unstable, confused, mother that doesn't know what she wants! You can't make up your mind, one minute you want one thing the next you don't. You're unstable and confused that's not safe for my son, you're not fit right now to be in his life."

Olivia stepped back at the angry in Casey's voice, tears streamed down her cheeks and her chest tighten in pain. "So, so that's it. You're going to take everything away from me, take my son, my family away from me. Everything I've worked for and dreamed about you're just going to take it and walk away from me. I thought you loved me." Olivia asked through her constricting throat and her tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I do love you, I'll never stop but the love I have for you isn't as strong as the love I have for my child and I need to do what's best for him."

"Oh and what's best for him is to not know who I am, for you to be a single mother!"

Casey calmly looked up at Olivia. "I'm not taking him from you completely, you'll still see him and be part of his life. He just won't be around you all the time. This is the best thing for all of us, Liv please understand that I'm doing what's best for my son."

"Our son! He's mine too!" Olivia yelled.

"I don't fucking get you, Olivia! You said you didn't want him, you didn't want to be in his life!" Casey screamed back.

"That doesn't mean I want you to take him from me completely!"

"I'm not! You'll still see him! Its what's best. A divorce and space is what we need, I need, he needs." Casey brushed past Olivia and sat back on the couch.

"You say you love me, Casey and yet you're doing this." Olivia calmly said as she leaned against the mantle of the fireplace and looked at the blonde with teary eyes.

"You say you love me and yet you were unfaithful, you loved another." Casey said back. "I'm doing this because I love you and because I love my son. Its what he needs, I need, and you need. In order to figure out what you need you can't have any strings and I'm one of those strings." Casey stopped to gather how she was going to explain what she wanted next. "If you figure out that your son and I are what you really what and you figure out what you want in life. Then we'll be waiting but we won't wait forever, Liv. Just worry about yourself for now and figure out what you want."

Olivia hung her head and pushed off the mantle to walk back to her seat. "So...this is it. The end of the line then, our marriage is over." Olivia whispered with a heavy breath.

"Yes but if you need anything, Olivia I'm still here for you but it can't be anything more than that. I still want to be part of your life, I still want our son to be part of your life and we still want you to be part of our lives but that's as far as it can go until you figure your life out." Casey explained sincerely.

"If I ever figure out my life and what I want." Olivia said sadly.

"I never wanted this to happen but it has to. Just worry about you and fixing your life that's all you need right now."

Olivia looked up at Casey with her tear streaked cheeks. "What happened to us, Casey? To me?" She asked painfully. Casey saw her pain and moved to kneel in front of her soon to be ex-wife, gently she reached up to cup Olivia's face and wipe away her tears. "I don't know, you have to figure that out." Olivia looked into Casey's eyes and cupped the blonde's face, Casey brought a hand up to cover one of Liv's she tuned her head slightly to place a tender kiss to the palm of the brunette's hand. "I am so sorry." Olivia whispered. Casey looked up in to Olivia's smokey brown eyes. "I know, I am too but this has to happen. I love you always will but this is the only way." Olivia nodded and dropped her head to rest her forehead against Casey.

"I love you, Casey." Liv whispered as she softly ran her thumb over Casey plush lips.

"I know part of you does and right now I'm sure that's the most I'm going to get."

"I'm sorry."

"We both are but its what's meant to be right now, don't dwell on it. Just do what you have to do, Livvy." Casey said as she ran one hand threw Olivia's messy locked, Liv turned her head in to the sensation before looking back down at Casey with tears in her eyes. Casey brought her hand back down to Liv's cheeks and brushed away Olivia's tears with her thumbs. Licking her now dry lips Casey looked up into Olivia's eyes with her own tear brimmed green ones. Olivia searched the teary green eyes of the woman she loved before slowly dipping her head, Casey realized what she was doing but didn't stop her. Both woman's eyes softly closed as their lips met for the final time, Casey moved her arms up to wrap around the brunette's neck as the kiss deepened and Olivia pulled the blonde closed as the kiss escalated. After what seemed like an eternity of being locked in their passionate final kiss Casey pulled away first and placed a kiss to Olivia's forehead before pulling back and standing. She turned her back to Olivia and wrapped her arms around her body.

"I think you should go now." Casey said without turning around, Olivia nodded and rose to walked out. Before she could leave the room though she looked back and moved swiftly to stand behind Casey. The blonde felt her presents and closed her eyes to keep from breaking down. Taking a deep breath, Olivia slid her arms around Casey and rested her hands on her swollen belly. "I love you and I love him that's why I'm doing what you ask and walking away but I still want to be part of his and even your life." Olivia whispered into Casey's ear and pulled the blonde closed to her, taking a deep breath she breathed in Casey's sent one last time and rubbed her wife's belly for a final time. Gently Olivia pulled away and turned to walk out of the living room. "Call me if you need anything please." With that said Olivia left the room and the house.

Casey heard the front door close almost signally the closing of her heart and future, she could no longer keep the tears and sobs at bay and she collapsed. Justine, who was ease dropping on the conversation, quickly rushed into the room and took Casey into her arms. Jussie glanced to the living room door way where Elliot was standing she nodded to him and head headed out to find his partner. Justine looked down at the sobbing blonde in her arms, she ran her fingers threw Casey's gold locks and rest her cheek against the crown of the blonde's head. Gently she whispered soothing words to Casey and rocked her back and forth to calm her.

* * *

Elliot found Olivia leaning against the passenger side of his car, her head was in her hands and her shoulders shook slightly from her sobs. Quietly he walked over to lean against the car next to her and wait for her to speak. Without warning Olivia turned to him and buried her face in his shoulder and cried, Elliot brought his strong arms up to wrap around Liv's shaking and sobbing body.

"Its over Elliot, no matter what I do its over. Casey doesn't want me anymore and I don't know what scares me the most; the fact she doesn't want me or the idea that maybe I don't want her and that I can live without her. God Elliot this is so fucked up." She sobbed.

Elliot wrapped his arms tighter around Liv. "Shhh, Liv everything will be ok. Casey just needs sometime to process and figure out things for herself. This doesn't mean its over just give it and her time, this is hard for her too." He whispered against her head.

Olivia slowly nodded and rubbed her wet cheeks against Elliot's shirt. "Thank you, El for being here even though I was out of line the other day."

"Hey, I understand what you're going through to an extent. I had a lot of mixed emotions when Kathy wanted to leave me. You'll get through all this and figure out what you need, you just have to take little steps." Elliot said as Olivia pulled back from him.

"Little steps, I think I can do that." Olivia said running a hand threw her messy hair. "You'll be fine, Liv. No what do you say we go get something to eat and we can calm down a little or something. Ok?" Elliot suggested as he moved to the driver' side of his car. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Y'know I'm gonna need to look for a new place." Olivia said with a twinge of sadness as she got in the car and looked up at the house that she had planned to live in with her family.

"Let's not worry about that now. Little steps remember." Elliot reminded her as he started the car and pulled out of the driveway.

Olivia looked out the window and watched the house disappear behind her and the landscape move quickly before her eyes. "Little steps." She said to herself in sadness.

TBC...

So how was that for an update? Sorry it took me so long to get this up but real life has been a bitch. I'll try and get the next chapter up ASAP. And for those awaiting for an update to Ignis Satus, I'm working on it and I should have a chapter up tomorrow afternoon/night. As for High School Style and Family Ties...that's an I don't know when they'll be up dated but I promise that they will within the next month and a half...two maximum. All of my previously typed up chapter to all of my stories have been lost so I have to type them again so that will take time so hang in there please. And everyone THANK YOU for the reviews on all my posted stories. You people are great!!!!


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